Broken

Broken
By Seether ft. Amy Lee
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This Is The S**t I Was Raised On

Hold on Loosely
By 38 Special
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God Bless Wild Eyed Southern Boys

I Have No Words Today...

Smooth Criminal
By Alien Ant Farm
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Tomorrow should pretty much be the same.

The Plight of an Elderly Mother...

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Mother, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except the Sons-a-Bitches won't let me Fart!"

The Coolest Remix Ever!

Walk This Way
By Aerosmith
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Hello, My Name is Ben Dover

I have a Doctors appointment today at 1:15 pm. I have to be there an hour early. It will start off with some Lab work, I’ll have blood drawn, and have to pee in a cup. Hopefully the testing will end there. After waiting an hour for the results they will probably up my "Nut Meds" but there won't be anything they can do for the constant pain. My legs have been hurting more often and now my hands are starting to hurt. Sharp pains in my fingers and the back of my hands. Nothing short of getting drunk and passing out seems to help. After the Lab and seeing the Doctor I'll have to wait for the Pharmacy to fill 13 prescriptions, yes I said 13. My worst days are the ones when I have to go to the Doctor. Setting and waiting seems to make my legs swell and hurt more than anything. Like an idiot I had ice cream tonight so my blood sugar will be a tad high also. Since I am out of the house I will probably eat out or at least pick something up to bring home which means even higher blood sugar. It will take me two or three days to get my sugar back down and get the swelling in my legs back to their normal state of pain. Like I said, going to the Doctor is my worst day. I'll be lucky if I'm home by 5:00 pm.

Will Sampson, An Oklahoma Son

Will Sampson 1934 - 1987 ~ Muscogee Creek Indian 1st, painter 2nd & actor 3rd~ Born in Okmulgee, Oklahoma. Will Sampson died on June 3, 1987, of complications after a heart-lung transplant. He is buried in Grave Creek Indian Cemetery in the heart of Muscogee Nation.

This Is Some Funny S**t

I stole this from Babs at Dirty Bitch Society and I think it's some funny s**t. Whether it's right or wrong when a cop says, "You Will Be Tazed" just do what they say, you can B**ch and make an A** out of yourself later when the threat of 50,000 volts being shot into your Stupid A** is not an issue. Once again this is some funny s**t!

Famous Oklahomans

A list of the famous (or infamous) persons who were born or lived in the Great State of Oklahoma

Art Acord - Silent film star, 90 films between 1910 and 1929, Stillwater
Troy Aikman - Dallas Cowboys Quarterback, Henrietta

Carl Albert - McAlester, Former Speaker, US House
Tommy Allsup - Country and Western Music Entertainer. Claremore, Miami, Tulsa
Erica Anderson - Actor, (Quake, Zandalee) Tulsa
Gene Autry - Sapulpa, Actor, musician
Lou Antonio - Director/Actor (Chicago Hope), Oklahoma City
Johnny Bench - Baseball great
Black Kettle - Cheyenne, Cheyenne Chief
William "Hopalong Cassidy" Boyd - Tulsa, Actor
Garth Brooks - Of Yukon, country and western music entertainer
Paul and Thomas Braniff - Okla. City, Aviation pioneers
Anita Bryant - Tulsa, Entertainer
Jeremy Castle - Oklahoma country music singer and songwriter form Blanchard, OK
Lon Chaney - Great Horror Movie Actor, Ok
Roy Clark - Tulsa, Musician/Actor
Charles Coe - National Amateur Golfing Champion in 1949 and 1958.
Bart Conner - Olympic gold medal winner, gymnastics

Dale "Apollo" Cook - 5 time world Champion Kickboxer, Tulsa, Ok

Leroy Gordon Cooper - Of Shawnee, was among the original seven US astronauts. He orbited the earth 22 times in 1963
Joan Crawford - Lawton, Actress
Admiral William Crowe - Former Head of the Joint Chiefs-of-Staff.
Dizzy Dean - Baseball great
John Denver - Clinton, Musician
Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd - Akins, Sallisaw, Outlaw
Owen K. Gariott - Of Enid, US astronaut
James Garner - Actor
Geronimo - Fort Sill, Apache Warrior
Vince Gill - Country singer
Woody Guthrie - Considered by most to be the father of American Folk music, was born Woodrow Wilson Guthrie in Okemah, OK, July 14, 1912
Mary Hart - Okla. City, TV anchorwoman
Paul Harvey - Tulsa, Broadcast journalist
Ron Howard - Duncan, Actor/Director
Iron Eyes Cody - Actor

Ben Johnson - Actor/ 1955 World Champion All Around Cowboy

Toby Keith - Moore, Musician
Jean Kirkpatrick - Ambassador to the United Nations
Gordon William "Pawnee Bill" Lillie - Pawnee, Wild West Show
Dr. Shannon Lucid - Of Oklahoma City, a US astronaut. She was on board the space shuttle Atlantis during its flight in October of 1989
Reba McEntire - Country and western music entertainer
Phillip C McGraw "Dr. Phil" - Okla. City, TV Host

Wilma Mankiller - Former Chief of the Cherokees
Mickey Mantle - Baseball great.
Pepper Martin - Baseball great
Shannon Miller - Edmond, Gymnast
Kenny Monday - Great wrestler and athlete
Bobby Murcer - Okla. City, Baseball great.
Carry Nation - Of Guthrie, led the fight for prohibition (we're sorry)
Bill Pickett - Ponca City, Invented bulldogging
Brad Pitt - Shawnee, Actor
William R. Pogue - Of Okemah, among the original seven US astronauts. He returned to earth on February 8, 1974 after 84 days in space.
Darrell Porter - Baseball great
Wiley Post - A Native Oklahoman and a pioneer in the field of aviation. He was the first to discover the jet stream and the first ever to design and wear a space suit
Lynn Riggs - Author, writer "Green Grow The Lilacs" from which script Rodgers and Hammerstein - wrote the Broadway musical hit "Oklahoma!"
Will Rogers - Humorist, entertainer, ambassador-at-large
Stuart A Roosa - Of Claremore, a US astronaut
Will Sampson - Actor, Okmulgee

C. E. Shoemake - Jeti-Ninja-Cowboy, Muskogee, Ok

Jim Shoulders - Henryetta, Ok. World Champion Bull Rider, Bareback Rider, Oklahoma Hall of Fame, Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame and the ProRodeo Hall of Fame.

John Smith - Great wrestler and athlete
Thomas P Stafford - Of Weatherford, US astronaut who commanded the joint United States-Soviet
Belle Starr - Outlaw 1846-1889, was called the "Queen of the Outlaws" , "a female Jesse James"
Willie Stargell - Baseball great
Bill Tilghman - Bat Masterson called him "The greatest of us all." Bill Tilghman was a fearless gunfighter who rode with a badge throughout Indian Territory in the 1890's as one of the "Three Guardsmen." He was responsible of arresting dozens of hardened outlaws and criminals during his life and participated in many gunfights. After retiring from law enforcement, he was coaxed into wearing his badge one more time in 1924 at the age of 70 in a wild and woolly oil boom town of Cromwell, Oklahoma where a young drunk shot and killed him without provocation
Rip Torn - Actor

Bob Tway - Of Edmond, he won the PGA Championship in 1986
Jim Thorpe - One of Oklahoma's greatest athletes. At the 1912 Olympics, the King of Sweden declared that Thorpe was "the greatest athlete in the world."
Wayman Tisdale - Great basketball player and athlete
Carrie Underwood - Of Checotah. American Idol winner 2005.
Paul and Lloyd Waner - Outfielders from Harrah, OK. The only brothers in the National Baseball Hall of Fame
JC Watts - Sooner quarterback, U.S. congressman
Todd Whatley - Hugo Ok. 1947 World Champion All Around Cowboy

Bud Wilkerson - Norman, Football

Trisha Yearwood - Country Singer

This obviously is not a complete list of famous people who were born or who have lived in Oklahoma. If you can think of anyone I missed let me know.

The Oklahoma Flag

The Oklahoma state flag honors more than 60 groups of Native Americans and their ancestors. The blue field comes from a flag carried by Choctaw soldiers during the civil war. The center shield is the battle shield of an Osage warrior. It is made of buffalo hide and decorated with eagle feathers. Two symbols of peace lie across the shield. One is the calumet, or peace pipe. The other is an olive branch. Crosses on the shield are Native American signs for stars, representing high ideals.

Oklahoma State Flowers

When it comes to state flora, one must be careful to differentiate in Oklahoma. The Sooner State is represented, in one way or another, by three official flowers:

Official floral emblem - Mistletoe

Official state wild flower - Indian Blanket

Official state flower - Hybrid Tea Rose, "Oklahoma"

Mistletoe was adopted as the official floral emblem in 1893, while Oklahoma was still a territory. It was adopted by the State of Oklahoma in 1910.






Oklahoma also adopted the official state wild flower, the Indian blanket, in 1910.







It wasn't until 2004 that the "Oklahoma rose" joined the list.

The Oklahoma rose is a hybrid tea rose [Rosa odorata (Andr.) Sweet] developed in 1964 by Herbert C. Swim and O.L. Weeks at Oklahoma State University.

Karma

I try to live my life by the rule that if I say my prayers, try as hard as I can to always do the right thing, help people when I can, and always tell the truth that nothing bad will happen to me or at least nothing that I can’t handle. I try to follow the ten commandments and the golden rule. I think before I make any decisions and I give thanks for everything that I have or receive in life. But lately a few things have happened that makes me think that I have missed something somewhere. I play by the rules but still certain things bite me on the backside and it‘s usually financial. I live on an extremely tight budget and if anything out of the normal happens it sets me back and I have no way of catching up. So my sister has been picking up the bill for anything that pops up. Well she can’t afford to keep doing it either so this has got to stop. I feel like I must be doing something wrong. So I’m gonna make a list of my bad habits and take a good look at them and try and do better, I just hope the list doesn’t get out of control. Here goes;

1. Lazy
2. Eat too much
3. Judge people in my head
4. Look at women with lustful thoughts
5. Curse
6. Lose temper

Well I’m highly surprised that the list was not a whole lot bigger. This shouldn’t be too hard to work on. I will look at the list often and work on it and add to it if need be. My friend X would say that it’s Karma but I like to think that God has a hand in it, maybe both play a part in they way things turn out, I’d hate to rule out anything and then find out later in life or death that I was completely wrong. Anyway I’m sure that we can all better ourselves if we tried. Take care and have a good week.

Oklahoma's State Bird

The Scissor-tailed Flycatcher (Tyrannus forficatus) State Bird of Oklahoma. Commonly seen on highlines and fence wires throughout Oklahoma.

Number Ten Is Good

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't you start anything.

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "This taste funny to you?"

7. Patient: "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home,'" Doc comments "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." Patient asks "Is it common?" Doc: Well, "It's Not Unusual..."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10 . DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20 . And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Beef... It's What's For Dinner!

I would say that all Vegetarians and Vegans could just take a flyin' bite at my butt, but now that would go against their cause wouldn’t it? 'Cause if it's wrong to be eatin' red meat, then I'm far from right 'cause I be lovin' me some a dat porterhouse steak, yes I do! Snuggle it up agin' a baked potato all smothered in butter with and salt and pepper, a big ol' piece or two a Texas toast all ready to sop up whatever's left on the plate, along with a tall cold glass of iced sweet tea, and Lord have mercy lookout and don't get between me and my plate because you is liable to draw back a nub. Mmm-Mmm that's some mighty good eatin' yes'er is.