I'm A Huge Doof !

I am a Huge Doof, I haven't been around in a while, I've had no motivation to write anything. I finally splurged a while back and got Dish Satellite for my TV and I spend most of my time in front of the tube. Then today on a whim I bought a Guitar Hero III game for Emily's Play Station II. I'm friggin' hooked! She'll probably get no play time as long as I'm awake. It's "Legends of Rock" my kind of music, Foghat, Van Halen, Ozzy, Scorpions, and so on. I don't care if I do look like a Big Putts playing it because it's a blast. I played it so much my arms and fingers are sore. I guess 3:00 AM was a good time to get off of it. I'm usually the last person to catch on to something new but that's OK, better late than never. Peace.

This Is The Music That Was Playing When I Was Most Alive

Rough Boy
By ZZ Top
CodesAndLyrics.com

deja vu

Seven weird things about me meme
This meme was brought to you by the letter X and the number 7. Oh, and Almost Saintly Nick ;) Seems I just did this a short while ago but it ain't healthy to say no to The Duchess.

1. I'm a, "Born Again Virgin" it happens after 3 years of having a clear head.

2. I can't find any shoes that fit, I just returned a pair of size 12 EEEEEE's, my foot is the length of a size 10 1/2 but I go up a couple of sizes to try and compensate some for the width.

3. This is hard. I'l have to get back to you when I can figure out 5 more things.

Grizzer Bear !

An Atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"
"What powerful rivers"
"What beautiful animals"
He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, for which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

(From AZCG)

It's Been A While

It's been a while but I received a meme from klbrowser over at browser life . Seven random things about myelf that most do not know.

1. I own 3 guitars and one bass guitar along with 7 harmonicas and I can not play any of them (this is my Ovation Celebrity)

2. When I get really sleepy, my jaw will sometimes slam shut and I'll crack or chip a tooth. I bite my toungue a lot also.

3. My Mother died of Leukemia.

4. I hallucinate sometimes. I think it's because of some of the meds that I am on, I won't tell my Doctor because that would just be one more thing to deal with.

5. I'm a big fan of drunk women.

6. I lifted a car off of a man onetime and don't really remember the details. His name was Billy and the bunperjack fell over while he was changing out the starter. I found him like that screaming and kicking, I was the only one around. it crushed three bones in his face and his jaw. Seems like it messed up his arm and a rib or two but he recovered fine, I that hear he is in prison now.

7. I have only one left testickle.

So there you have it, 7 random things about me that most would not know. Play along if you'd like, What can it hurt and you might kill a minute or two.

Rite Of Passage

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's " Rite of Passage"? When he becomes the right age, his father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, then he is a man. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each one must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blows the limbs and the brush. There are all kinds of creepy sounds through out the night, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man! Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, Our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

Still Celebrating 100 Years

This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Oklahoma

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma.

If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live in Oklahoma.

If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too awfully excited about it until you actually SEE it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you actually understand all of these jokes, you definitely live in Oklahoma.

Rules of Oklahoma

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah . . . We don't care what folks in Cincinnati call that stuff they eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in the West. . . and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she'd better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and high school Football is important here and fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University and the University of Oklahoma. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, so "Don't Mess with Oklahoma." If you do, you will get your ass whipped by the best.

Oklahoma -- Native America and Proud of it!

Larry Ray Shoemake

November the 22nd, Thanksgiving Day was also my brother's Birthday. He would have been 53, 10 years older than me. Thanksgiving fell on the day he was born so we always celebrated his Birthday on Thanksgiving. We always had Blackberry Cobler because that was his favorite. We celebrated Thanksgiving at my sister's house this year, I guess that is our new tradition. I said Grace before our meal and I could hardly get it out, I thanked the Lord for thais day, I thanked him for the food, our family, and friends and I thanked him for blessing Larry and taking care of him now and that's all I could get out. My sister said Amen and we enjoyed a good meal along with some Blackberry Cobler. Later my sister wanted to know how come she made it through that day ok but couldn't hardly breath Friday without crying. I said it was because she is gay. I must becoming down with a touch of gayness myself because I'm having trouble breathing today. Larry Ray loved Appaloosa horses and I loved him.

The News Scares Me...

I turn on the news last night and the first thing I see is a picture of some pervert. The first thing I think of is he’s not on the news because he’s dead, or that he’s killed someone, he just naturally looks like a pervert, and of course he was arrested for following a 6 year old girl into a school and molesting her in the school’s bathroom. The next thing was that they are still looking for the man who raped a 5 year old girl and left her naked and bleeding on a dirt road somewhere. Then there was the 11th day of a search for a 13 year old girl who was killed and dumped in or near a river by her 18 year old sister’s boyfriend. Following that was a story about an 18 year old boy who was shot and killed with a sawed off shot gun by a 19 year old at a party. And then there was the lady who turned herself in the following day after running over 5 people in the road and killing all 5 of them, she was drinking and now she will be charged with 5 counts of second degree manslaughter, she confessed to have been drinking at the time.
It would be nice to turn on the TV one time and not be hounded by all of the immoral things that happened that day. I watch the news just waiting to see someone that I know or went to school with get arrested for something stupid but most of the time it’s a lot younger generation that is responsible for acting a fool. Mostly teens and kid’s in there 20’s. It seems that they have no fear of God or any type of conscience. It’s amazing that at the same time there are all of those young men and women that have joined the service or have worked hard to go on to college, were raise along side of the same young men and women that are on the news or already in jail. Seems somebody had dropped the ball somewhere. Maybe it was when we started taking religion out of school and out of public places. If they are not getting any guidance from home they are certainly not getting it from school or the media. I know a lot of good kids out there and my daughter is one of them. I wish more parents would take the time to spend with their children and try and teach them some of the morals that our parents tried to teach us. And if you did not get that kind of guidance from your’s then stand up and start something new. Peace and good day.

Looking Back...

There are a few women out there that may think that I owe them an apology. Well I'm sorry. I should have tried harder, I should have done better. They may never see this but just the same, I really am sorry.