Genitals, They Are Not Just For Sex Anymore
Where do women get off thinking childbirth is so bad? If that Salvadoran Lady who got caught smuggling a grenade and some weed into a prison could fit a 4 inch by 10 inch tube up into her who-ha, what’s the big whoop?
Kidney stones, now there’s pain for you. Ladies try passing a walnut through a straw. Ok, maybe a grape nut, but still it just ain’t right. Every since I turned forty I have realized you just can’t trust your farts anymore, I mean it’s a crap shoot every time, literally. And now I have to be scared to pee also. Please, I have to pee right now but I ain’t gonna. The last time I was in the bathroom, it was 1:00 am, I woke up got out of bed (I usually get out of bed about 6 times a night to pee) head to the bathroom and start to do my business. I get into position and then relax the way you do to get things going and… nada, zilch, no flow. So now I become a little more awake.
Now I’m not gonna bother you with the details of shaking, pulling, or even twisting, but I was hopping up and down before I finally sat down. I am now full blown wide awake. I’ve been doing this for years, and I run through the steps again and I can’t figure out where I went wrong. Turn light on, drop trow, check lid (remember I have a daughter) aim, aim better, and relax. No I don’t believe I left anything out. Then what the Hell? So I set down, now the thing that bothers me about situations like this is the absence of logic part. This makes no sense, I have to figure this out, and all the time it don’t feel so good either. I mean the pressure has shifted but where is it at. You just can’t go back to bed, it may start to work at any moment. I’m trying to figure this out and wondering who to call. I mean who do you call at a time like this, a friend, family, is there a hot-line I don’t know about? Ouch! Hey now, that was unpleasant. Ouch again, not good, this was starting to get ugly. Oh… My… Damn! What the Hell was that? I immediately knew. Kidney Stone. My Dad had talked of such things but I never imagined. YeeeOooowwwweee… stop that. Well I’m just not gonna do this, no friggin’ way, and that‘s all there is to it! I’ll just go back to bed and forget about all of this nonsense until it’s over. Wrong! Hoo Hoo, Hee Hee, thank God my Lamaze training kicked in. Now I’m bent over setting on the commode, my head almost touching the floor. It’s moving, I feel it coming around the side and heading towards the business. I even got light headed. Man alive!
I could go into more detail but I’m choosing not to go back there. It’s a bad, bad place. This is what I know to be for sure, you should never be aware of your genitals. You should have them yes. They should be for sex and normal toileting activities only. In no way shape or form should they ever be hit, grazed, or stretched in any capacity. And whatever causes kidney stones or childbirth, just don’t do it, just don‘t. I did share this incident with a friend and she very dryly and kind of by the way stated “no I don’t think it’s like childbirth, maybe a close second.” Women you don’t ever ask why God burdened you with the pain of childbirth, it’s as simple as can be, if man had to do it there would be no people, period. Cause we ain’t havin’ it. No! Now I really have to pee, I wonder if I can get a C-Section.
Where do women get off thinking childbirth is so bad? If that Salvadoran Lady who got caught smuggling a grenade and some weed into a prison could fit a 4 inch by 10 inch tube up into her who-ha, what’s the big whoop?
Kidney stones, now there’s pain for you. Ladies try passing a walnut through a straw. Ok, maybe a grape nut, but still it just ain’t right. Every since I turned forty I have realized you just can’t trust your farts anymore, I mean it’s a crap shoot every time, literally. And now I have to be scared to pee also. Please, I have to pee right now but I ain’t gonna. The last time I was in the bathroom, it was 1:00 am, I woke up got out of bed (I usually get out of bed about 6 times a night to pee) head to the bathroom and start to do my business. I get into position and then relax the way you do to get things going and… nada, zilch, no flow. So now I become a little more awake.
Now I’m not gonna bother you with the details of shaking, pulling, or even twisting, but I was hopping up and down before I finally sat down. I am now full blown wide awake. I’ve been doing this for years, and I run through the steps again and I can’t figure out where I went wrong. Turn light on, drop trow, check lid (remember I have a daughter) aim, aim better, and relax. No I don’t believe I left anything out. Then what the Hell? So I set down, now the thing that bothers me about situations like this is the absence of logic part. This makes no sense, I have to figure this out, and all the time it don’t feel so good either. I mean the pressure has shifted but where is it at. You just can’t go back to bed, it may start to work at any moment. I’m trying to figure this out and wondering who to call. I mean who do you call at a time like this, a friend, family, is there a hot-line I don’t know about? Ouch! Hey now, that was unpleasant. Ouch again, not good, this was starting to get ugly. Oh… My… Damn! What the Hell was that? I immediately knew. Kidney Stone. My Dad had talked of such things but I never imagined. YeeeOooowwwweee… stop that. Well I’m just not gonna do this, no friggin’ way, and that‘s all there is to it! I’ll just go back to bed and forget about all of this nonsense until it’s over. Wrong! Hoo Hoo, Hee Hee, thank God my Lamaze training kicked in. Now I’m bent over setting on the commode, my head almost touching the floor. It’s moving, I feel it coming around the side and heading towards the business. I even got light headed. Man alive!
I could go into more detail but I’m choosing not to go back there. It’s a bad, bad place. This is what I know to be for sure, you should never be aware of your genitals. You should have them yes. They should be for sex and normal toileting activities only. In no way shape or form should they ever be hit, grazed, or stretched in any capacity. And whatever causes kidney stones or childbirth, just don’t do it, just don‘t. I did share this incident with a friend and she very dryly and kind of by the way stated “no I don’t think it’s like childbirth, maybe a close second.” Women you don’t ever ask why God burdened you with the pain of childbirth, it’s as simple as can be, if man had to do it there would be no people, period. Cause we ain’t havin’ it. No! Now I really have to pee, I wonder if I can get a C-Section.
posted by Chuck at
10:12 AM
10 Comments:
OK,Sweetheart, I take it back. No one can say which is worse and it all sucks, do we agree? I certainly have never had a kidney stone but I now where I worked they gave synthetic morphine and such for kidney stone patients. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Did I tell ya I love ya?
well now you did and i feel much better. i know they are not as bad as cb, and i do try and be sensetive to bitches... i mean to women"s hardships, but my johnson hurts and i'm a tad cranky today. talk at ya later.
To quote my significant other:
"There's a difference between man pain and woman pain -- man pain is worse."
I didn't even kick him in the ass for that stupid statement!
AZCG
sometime kick him in the shin for no reason, then when he asks "what's that" just say, "that's woman pain"
coming soon;
www.arizonacountrygirl.blogspot.com
i have had a kidney stone, and i have had labor, and i have had a c-section from a very long 72 hour BAD labor.
I will take the kidney stones... hands down.
no argument there, i'm surprised at the people who have had them. they are a lot more common than i thought. 72 hours, ouch.
I guess c-sections are hollywoods answer to quick deliveries.. but in my case it was an emergency after trying for days to push that stubborn girl out.
of course my c-section was way more worth the aftermath then the kidney stones.. so i guess there is that ;)
you're not saying you like that girl are you? yuck... i knew you were the touchy-feely type.
my ex went through 58 hours and she acted like it was rough, of course it was worse on me, i got a cramp in my leg from standing around waiting.
chuck, you are priceless! My husband was a nervous wreck from all the panic and hullaballoo. I think it was worse on him, at least I was druged for part of it! Poor guy wsa so scared and was freaking out on the hospital for that stuff that happened with me and my daughter. I was so pissed, i got up the next day, took out the catheter, had a shower and left. I was just so mad and had no interest in being there.
don't tell anyone, but i really did get leg cramps, i stood up for the whole 58 hours, or at least most of it and i showed my ass to the nurses and doctors more than once.
catheter. there's another menace to the genitals.
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