Five things you may not know about Chuck. A Tag from The Babs Bitchin’

1. I’m a Born Again Virgin.

2. I was born with only one left nut.

3. All of my toes look like they came from different feet, I named the big one on my left foot “Frankentoe”. I tore the nail off of my right big toe last year and it grew back looking like a Barbeque Corn Chip.

4. I am the real reason why your Mother told you to be careful as a kid or you could put someone’s eye out. On July, 7th 1973, in Upland California I threw a homemade spear into the left eye of my 5 year old brother (I had made the spear to hunt cats). My Mother beat my ass before they took him to the hospital, when they brought him home from the hospital with a HUGE patch over his eye, she beat my ass again, then when my Father got home from work that night he beat my ass until I smelled bad. Three weeks later when he got the bandages off and had to wear some F**ked up big ass glasses with one coke bottle lens my Mother and Father beat my ass tag team style, taking turns until they tired out. Then 12 years later when the same little brother kicked me in the left eye and knocked me smooth out and my eye swelled completely shut my Mother and Father laughed and told me it served me right.

5. I got kicked out of school in the 12th grade for beating up a deaf kid with glasses named Shannon, first off he was a deaf kid with glasses and secondly his name was Shannon, he deserved to get beat up. Actually the little shit hit me first and called me a “ath-hole” so I clocked him. I’ve become much more sensitive as an adult.

(I got my ass beat a Hell of a lot as a child and I can honestly say that I was never abused and I probably didn't get it near as much as I should have. If I had ever threatend to call the Cops or Child Welfare, my Mom and Dad would have dialed "9*1" and handed me the phone and beat my ass anyway while I tried to dial the last "1")