Ramblings of a Disturbed Man...

4:31 in the AM. My back is cold, maybe it’s because my back is to the A/C which shouldn’t be on to begin with. I’m hungry. My stomach is doing hula hoops around my a**hole. I’ve been to the toilet 97 times today. The softest toilet paper there is, is still not soft enough after 97 times. 4:35 in the AM. My kid gets up for school in 25 minutes. My left leg is swollen half again its normal size. The grass in my front yard is over a foot tall. Both of my dogs have fleas. Flea collars do not work. The fleas are already really bad this year. I had a new half gallon of flea and tick spray for the yard (the kind you hook up to your water hose and soak the yard with) I kept it over the sink with the rest of the chemicals. Apparently it had a leak because it is empty now. Where did it go?
I was gonna watch a DVD but my Digital VD player suddenly became picky about what it chooses to do and not do. 4:41 an the AM. A small moth is barn storming my PC monitor. I deleted my cookies. I also deleted all of my e-mails. There are fleas in my bed. I’m wondering what photo will go best with this post. I might choose one that has nothing to do with anything. 4:46 in the AM. I’m averaging about nine words a minute with only fourteen errors. I wonder if Maloxx (or is it Mallox) no, I believe its Maalox, anyway does it do anything for gas? Always remember once you are past 40 do NOT trust your farts! 4:50 in the AM. The birds are starting to chirp. I should probably post this and get off before the alarm goes off. By the time I find a random photo and upload it, it should be just about 5:00 in the AM. Have a good day.
Oh, I found a photo. It’s of Alicia Keys. She has nothing to do with my rambles, she’s just so Damn fine that I would drink her bath water, or at least make soup out of her panties. I saw her last week in “Smokin’ Aces” and she was FINE. I need sleep. Peace.