How About Some Jokes...

Men Never Listen

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. “Sir”, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He said “Thanks”, went on in and did what he needed to do, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice felling, he thought. Men’s restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. “The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.” The nurse replied, “Sir the button marked: ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.” “Your penis is under your pillow.”

Sunday Morning Lovin'

Earlier this week I was talking with a neighbor's 24-year-old daughter who still lives at home while finishing her residency at the local hospital. I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Last Sunday, upon hearing that her elderly Grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight from her shift to her Grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old Grandmother to comfort her.

Apparently, when she asked how her Grandfather had died, her Grandmother had replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love this morning.” Katie admitted to me that she had been horrified and had told her Grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex was surely to be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my Dear," her Granny had replied. "Many years ago, realizing our
advanced age, we figured the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

Granny had then paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if that Damned Ice Cream Truck hadn't come along."
Have A Good Day.