My Dogs Are Buggin'

My dogs are driving me nuts today. One is in heat and the other one is eat up with the horny. He wont get more than a foot away from her, follows her everywhere and when she stops she gets a cold wet nose shoved in her special purpose, and then she turns and tries to bite him, he lays on his back and she starts licking his business, gets him all jacked up even more. After a few minutes of that she stops, turns around, he hops up sticks his nose (or toungue) back in her stuff, she turns and tries to bite him again, and he lays on his back and it all starts over again. He's too short to tap it anyway. Eventually she runs to me and looks up at me like "please make him stop" I tell her to stop teasing and just give it up and he'll go to sleep for a while. He is actually my dog and she belongs to my daughter. We have discussed getting them (one of them) fixed. Now I don't know if it's the man in me being loyal or what but I think there needs to be a spaying but my daughter is in favor of a neutering. So what's fair? If he gets fixed she'll still cycle so shouldn't it be her who gets snipped? Well anyway I'm the one who has to pay for it so I'm thinkin' Tigg is gonna keep his beans, unless he keeps getting an attitude and then I may take 'em off myself. I had a friend who had a black cocker spaniel and it started stinking really bad one time and when they went to check it out, the dog's whole left ear fell off. Seems his kids were playing "Doggy Make Over" and put a hair band (a black hair band) on it's ear where you could not see it and forgot about. So I know I can make those nuts fall off. I might just remember that hair band trick when them little hairy legged boys come sniffin' around here after my daughter, either that or take 'em out to the woods and nail their nuts to a stump then catch the stump on fire. The Little Bastards. I'm getting side tracked, anyway those dogs better chill out for a while, they're driving me nuts. Good day.