An Irish Confession
(Of sorts)

A young lad steps into the confessional and has a seat,
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is I." "And, who was this loose woman ya be with?"
"I can't be a tellin' ya Father, I don't want to be ruinin' her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so ya may as well be tellin' me now."
"Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?" "I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?" "I'm sorry, but I can't name her."
"Was it Ann Morgan?" "My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?" "Please, Father, I can not tell ya."
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast young lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I do admire that in ya, but ya've sinned, and for that ya must atone. Ya can not attend church mass for three months.
Be off with ya now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd ya get?! "
"Three month's vacation and five good leads"