I’m so broke, I have no cheese to go with this whine…
I’ve tried to lead a good life, if I can think before I act I always try and make the best possible choice. I never pass up a chance to help someone, I’ve given my last dollar away. If I can say something to brighten someone’s day I always do. I’m kind of a grouchy person by nature so it is not always an easy thing for me. I truly believe in God and truth. I never care about anyone having to know if I’ve done a good thing or not, as long as God and I know that’s always been enough. I believe in karma but I don’t believe in making deals, for instance - God if you do this, I’ll do that. I don’t believe it works that way. I don’t believe that if I send an E-mail within 5 minutes of reading it to 10 of my friends that a miracle will happen tomorrow at 1:00 PM (but I can’t help sending them anyway). But if I’m good and generous and gracious I think that it will come back around. It may not be a blessing that I want but usually something that I need. It works both ways though, if I’m not so good I believe that it too will come back to visit me. Sometimes I wonder what I’ve done to deserve the way things have turned out, am I forgetting something in my past? Surely the good outweighs the bad. I must be overlooking all of the times that I lost my temper and out of anger said or did something that hurt someone. For that I am sorry. One time in a movie John Wayne said, “Never apologize, it’s a sign of weakness.” well I must be weak because I’ve said I’m sorry an awful lot. I can’t think of anyone I’ve left bad blood between (I take that back, I’m sure there are a few ladies out there that would wish me no good) for that I’m sorry, and if I ever run into them I’ll tell them so. You can count on that. Back to my point, my whole life right now revolves around Social Security. I know people must be getting tired of hearing about that but it is with me every waking moment and sometimes when I’m not awake. What I would receive from S.S. would be a small drop in the bucket compared to things. It wouldn’t affect or hurt anyone at all, such a small thing but it would mean the world to me and my family. Hope is a good thing as long as you have it. All I want in life is to pay my bills and take care of my own. In case I haven’t been clear, I’m getting tired of waiting, I’m getting tired of whining, and I’m getting tired of doing without the simplest of things. I hope everyone is having a good week so far. Its raining (that's a good thing) my chest hurts (that's a bad thing). So much for Wordless Wednesday. Peace.
I’ve tried to lead a good life, if I can think before I act I always try and make the best possible choice. I never pass up a chance to help someone, I’ve given my last dollar away. If I can say something to brighten someone’s day I always do. I’m kind of a grouchy person by nature so it is not always an easy thing for me. I truly believe in God and truth. I never care about anyone having to know if I’ve done a good thing or not, as long as God and I know that’s always been enough. I believe in karma but I don’t believe in making deals, for instance - God if you do this, I’ll do that. I don’t believe it works that way. I don’t believe that if I send an E-mail within 5 minutes of reading it to 10 of my friends that a miracle will happen tomorrow at 1:00 PM (but I can’t help sending them anyway). But if I’m good and generous and gracious I think that it will come back around. It may not be a blessing that I want but usually something that I need. It works both ways though, if I’m not so good I believe that it too will come back to visit me. Sometimes I wonder what I’ve done to deserve the way things have turned out, am I forgetting something in my past? Surely the good outweighs the bad. I must be overlooking all of the times that I lost my temper and out of anger said or did something that hurt someone. For that I am sorry. One time in a movie John Wayne said, “Never apologize, it’s a sign of weakness.” well I must be weak because I’ve said I’m sorry an awful lot. I can’t think of anyone I’ve left bad blood between (I take that back, I’m sure there are a few ladies out there that would wish me no good) for that I’m sorry, and if I ever run into them I’ll tell them so. You can count on that. Back to my point, my whole life right now revolves around Social Security. I know people must be getting tired of hearing about that but it is with me every waking moment and sometimes when I’m not awake. What I would receive from S.S. would be a small drop in the bucket compared to things. It wouldn’t affect or hurt anyone at all, such a small thing but it would mean the world to me and my family. Hope is a good thing as long as you have it. All I want in life is to pay my bills and take care of my own. In case I haven’t been clear, I’m getting tired of waiting, I’m getting tired of whining, and I’m getting tired of doing without the simplest of things. I hope everyone is having a good week so far. Its raining (that's a good thing) my chest hurts (that's a bad thing). So much for Wordless Wednesday. Peace.
posted by Chuck at
5:50 AM
12 Comments:
Your blog is your therapy corner, if we don't want to hear we won't visit. As easy as that, so while we come back we don't mind you talking about your life or SS.
Thanks, hope you have a good week too. My exam is over and done with and I'm of studies until end of Feb whooo hooo!
hannelie - sounds like a pretty good break from your studies, i hope that you enjoy it.
It's me, wys, jt, shad catcher (whoever else I've been this past year in blogland :). I don't get by as much as I want to. But I think of you often, and then when I do come by -- I just want to reach in your monitor and give you a big ole hug!! You're a kind soul. I can tell it; always could tell it. You know how I feel on the disability thing and what I hope and pray for you. If I was there in person, I would help as much as I could.
jt - wis - wys - shad - my good friend - you are one of the first people to discuss disabilty with me, i know how you feel about the whole mess, i'm surprised at all of the people online that have had to deal with them also, i've learned a lot from you and others by all of the comments and e-mails, it will come around sooner or later and we all know that it will be later than sooner, take care AND ENJOY THE WEATHER (MY FAT FINGER MUST HAVE HIT CAPS LOCK) PEACE.
Chuck:
I am so pised off at SS for you! I have worked like a slave (pun intended) my whole life and now that I am not using it, paying into it...WHY not free up some of the years I've got invested in it and pay someone else...ON FRIGGIN TIME!? Gosh they make me sick...thanks for letting me vent and you keep doing the same.
regina - i started working when i was 11 year old and i sure never had an easy job, the last one i had i worked for 14 years before i had to quit, and i still wish that i could be working now, it took a lot for me to even file for S.S. i'll just keep waiting and keep bitching until it happens, you take care.
Okay, this is not to be a bitch, but if you keep thinging that this is some sort of pennance for things you have done wrong.... well i might have to fly down and slap you.
The thing is, horrible things happen every day to people who don't deserve them. My friend Kaye did nothing wrong, and her little boy at 3 months old went into deadly seazures. now this is a dibilitating thing, and she asks the very same question as you. "what did I do wrong".
Karma really isn't like that. It isn't vengeful. And as much as i think the christian meaning of god is.. he really isn't. that is not what god is there to represent.
Even mother teressa got lepersy. You have to not think that way Chuck... this is the government, not god.
Now, as for the ailment you find yourself in, we all must go through different paths. sometimes they out right suck, and there is no 'fair' in it. But it needs to happen none the less. Maybe you are imparting something truely important on your daughter. Maybe someone on the blogosphere needs to hear your story. You just never know.
And it's alright to think that is a crap shoot. It is alright to think 'fuck wisdom, i want life'. It's alright to be human.
So. I just wanted to say those things.. because sometimes in the valley of dispair, we really need to see some light. And i know that the money is what would make that door open wide for you.. and i can't help you there. But I will be here for you, money or not.
Chuck, man I keep hoping each time I come here that your prayers have been answered. I think they will. I know you are a gun lover as I am also. It might be that you could sell or pawn some of them if you have to. I'm sure you've thought about and didn't want to see it in print. Stay positive.
Charles, my friend. First, DON'T pawn your guns. I have never pawned anything and felt good about it later. I got your email regarding Em, and let me say Thank YOU. You are giving us a blessing I truly cannot describe to you. I wish you the best my friend. Call me, shoot three times into the air, I'll come running. I am mailing what we discussed today. You are loved my brother. See ya soon.
xmichra - you and i see eye to eye a lot more than it may seem, i thought about doing that tag that you got from "old dirty balls" or whoever it was, because i certainly blog things that i wouldn't talk about out loud to some of my friends and most of my family, i still may do it in a day or two, it might explain a few things, as always, thanks a million for your comments, i always take them to heart.
whozfan - pawning and selling guns has always happened at low points in my life, i've lost probably 100 or so that way. i will have to be living in my truck and eating dog food before i pawn anymore (or if Emily needs something), i sure appreciate you stopping by. keep it up.
jay cook - my brother, have no worries about me, i'll get by one way or the other, i sure am glad that you FINALLY got around to visiting my blog, i'm here almost everyday, come back by often. peace to you and yours.
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