I thought I Was Smiling...
I’ve started a hundred new posts. Somewhere along the way they start sounding too whiney. I turn up the music and I get into a better mood. Next thing I know I’ve deleted what I‘ve written and I’m searching music videos. A couple of hours go by and I wind up posting a music video, usually one that brings back some memories from better days. I figure it doesn’t matter anyway because people don’t leave comments the way the used too. Truth be told that’s the only reason I ever wrote anything anyway was for the comments. I’ve met some pretty cool people through comments. A lot of them have faded away. This is beginning to sound whiney and is in jeopardy of being deleted. I’ve been a man my whole life, by that I mean manly or at least what I felt was manly. You don’t ask for help, you don’t complain, and you never admit to being scared. So complaining about being scared and asking for help is like putting on a dress. It’s just not done. I have a lot more to say but if I do it will just get deleted and I’ll post an AC/DC video. I’ll just leave it with saying that I’ve made peace with my depression and I can live with it, but sometimes I feel that it is getting worse and that concerns me.
posted by Chuck at
4:13 AM
9 Comments:
well if you feel like it is getting worse than you need to seek out some help. Depression is not something to take lightly. And it is not unmanly to seek help or advice. It is rather manly to face your daemons and destroy them.
I lived for the comments as well. I think we all do (even if some say they don't). It is the human condition to want to be loved, and sometimes when you get to know people the way that we have.. well it makes you feel really good to see taht people care. And we do Chucky :)
BTW, i like the music videos, when they play here. I have no idea why, but codes and lyrics sometimes won't play here in Canada. Must be some new law.
Well how do I respond to such a heart felt entry, my sister suffers from depression and I'm at a loss to help her and I know her so well, you are so far away and can't reach out my hand and comfort you like I can my sister. I'm with Xmichra, you need to talk to your doctor and see what modern miracle drug he has that can help. I also want you to get back on your diet, it was because of you I started watching what I ate and I dropped close to 40 pounds at that made me feel better because I was starting to be limited by my own weight. It's not easy, but you will feel better if you lose some weight. I send copious HUGS through my keyboard!
i was on prozac and i loved it, i was one of the people that it worked well on, no bad side effects or anything. then the grant that the indian hospital used to pay for that particular drug ended or ran out and they changed it to celexa, it works ok but not as well, i still have moments of anxiety and uncertaincy. a couple of week ago they doubled the dosage and i'm still getting used to it. the prozac was also helping me with my weight, since the med change i've gained back all that i'd lost which sucks.
Hey Charles, I'd rather read what you have to say than listen to ACDC. I do agree with your daughter. Live music is best.
Do not delete your posts!
They must be good therapy.
Oops, I forgot to sign off.
Shane.
good to hear from you shane, i knew who you were. i used to go to a lot of live shows back in the day, like zz top, kiss, ted nugent, bad company, bto, reo speedwagon, def leppard, stevie nicks, george strait, and a lot more. that was back when i could stand all day. take care of yourself.
Hey Dude ...hang in there the good times will roll around again... Its like a wheel, bad times wil always end and good times are waiting in the wings. Sometimes the wheel just turns a bit slower than others ...
See ya
Bosbefok
bosbefok - always good to hear from you. it was black powder season for deer here last week. i missed going again, that's probably why i've been down, i used to spend this time of year outside. take care and always keep your powder dry.
I loved this post by you! I don't get by often anymore, but you were one of my first blogging buddies! You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Blogging has been a strange (very strange) trip for me at times. I don't know even know why I began blogging - only that it was the hep c that had pretty much flattened me and put me on-line to research, and that one thing led to another (to include blogging). I've opened blogs and closed them. I had a nice dog blog - LOL!
Blogging took me places I didn't dream I would ever go. I think it somehow "balance" my life. I think I learned that blogging can help relief stress. I can scream and rant and cuss (and I think doing it "on-line" helps me in "real life")
Keep BLOGGING Buddy!!
Happy belated Thanksgiving. I meant to get by here yesterday to say Happy T day to you but I didn't get the time. I always say I'm gonna get by more often, but.... being Lost at C has taken all my time these past 6 months, I don't know that I'll ever find the damn land again, but one day I think I will, and if I don't - then being Lost, I guess, is OK, eh?! Big hugs to ya!
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