~ Chuck's Lo Down ~

I'm A Huge Doof !

2008-10-05T03:59:00.002-05:00

I am a Huge Doof, I haven't been around in a while, I've had no motivation to write anything. I finally splurged a while back and got Dish Satellite for my TV and I spend most of my time in front of the tube. Then today on a whim I bought a Guitar Hero III game for Emily's Play Station II. I'm friggin' hooked! She'll probably get no play time as long as I'm awake. It's "Legends of Rock" my kind of music, Foghat, Van Halen, Ozzy, Scorpions, and so on. I don't care if I do look like a Big Putts playing it because it's a blast. I played it so much my arms and fingers are sore. I guess 3:00 AM was a good time to get off of it. I'm usually the last person to catch on to something new but that's OK, better late than never. Peace.

This Is The Music That Was Playing When I Was Most Alive

2008-01-27T05:47:00.001-06:00

Rough Boy
By ZZ Top
CodesAndLyrics.com

deja vu

2008-01-03T14:41:00.000-06:00

Seven weird things about me meme
This meme was brought to you by the letter X and the number 7. Oh, and Almost Saintly Nick ;) Seems I just did this a short while ago but it ain't healthy to say no to The Duchess.

1. I'm a, "Born Again Virgin" it happens after 3 years of having a clear head.

2. I can't find any shoes that fit, I just returned a pair of size 12 EEEEEE's, my foot is the length of a size 10 1/2 but I go up a couple of sizes to try and compensate some for the width.

3. This is hard. I'l have to get back to you when I can figure out 5 more things.

Grizzer Bear !

2007-12-30T05:10:00.000-06:00

An Atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"
"What powerful rivers"
"What beautiful animals"
He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'? The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, for which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

(From AZCG)

It's Been A While

2007-12-21T22:16:00.000-06:00

It's been a while but I received a meme from klbrowser over at browser life . Seven random things about myelf that most do not know.

1. I own 3 guitars and one bass guitar along with 7 harmonicas and I can not play any of them (this is my Ovation Celebrity)

2. When I get really sleepy, my jaw will sometimes slam shut and I'll crack or chip a tooth. I bite my toungue a lot also.

3. My Mother died of Leukemia.

4. I hallucinate sometimes. I think it's because of some of the meds that I am on, I won't tell my Doctor because that would just be one more thing to deal with.

5. I'm a big fan of drunk women.

6. I lifted a car off of a man onetime and don't really remember the details. His name was Billy and the bunperjack fell over while he was changing out the starter. I found him like that screaming and kicking, I was the only one around. it crushed three bones in his face and his jaw. Seems like it messed up his arm and a rib or two but he recovered fine, I that hear he is in prison now.

7. I have only one left testickle.

So there you have it, 7 random things about me that most would not know. Play along if you'd like, What can it hurt and you might kill a minute or two.

Rite Of Passage

2007-12-18T05:33:00.000-06:00

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's " Rite of Passage"? When he becomes the right age, his father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, then he is a man. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each one must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blows the limbs and the brush. There are all kinds of creepy sounds through out the night, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man! Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, Our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

Still Celebrating 100 Years

2007-12-04T08:54:00.000-06:00

This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Oklahoma

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma.

If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live in Oklahoma.

If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't get too awfully excited about it until you actually SEE it coming toward you, you may live in Oklahoma.

If you actually understand all of these jokes, you definitely live in Oklahoma.

Rules of Oklahoma

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah . . . We don't care what folks in Cincinnati call that stuff they eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in the West. . . and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she'd better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and high school Football is important here and fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University and the University of Oklahoma. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, so "Don't Mess with Oklahoma." If you do, you will get your ass whipped by the best.

Oklahoma -- Native America and Proud of it!

Larry Ray Shoemake

2007-11-26T10:31:00.000-06:00

November the 22nd, Thanksgiving Day was also my brother's Birthday. He would have been 53, 10 years older than me. Thanksgiving fell on the day he was born so we always celebrated his Birthday on Thanksgiving. We always had Blackberry Cobler because that was his favorite. We celebrated Thanksgiving at my sister's house this year, I guess that is our new tradition. I said Grace before our meal and I could hardly get it out, I thanked the Lord for thais day, I thanked him for the food, our family, and friends and I thanked him for blessing Larry and taking care of him now and that's all I could get out. My sister said Amen and we enjoyed a good meal along with some Blackberry Cobler. Later my sister wanted to know how come she made it through that day ok but couldn't hardly breath Friday without crying. I said it was because she is gay. I must becoming down with a touch of gayness myself because I'm having trouble breathing today. Larry Ray loved Appaloosa horses and I loved him.

The News Scares Me...

2007-11-20T19:44:00.000-06:00

I turn on the news last night and the first thing I see is a picture of some pervert. The first thing I think of is he’s not on the news because he’s dead, or that he’s killed someone, he just naturally looks like a pervert, and of course he was arrested for following a 6 year old girl into a school and molesting her in the school’s bathroom. The next thing was that they are still looking for the man who raped a 5 year old girl and left her naked and bleeding on a dirt road somewhere. Then there was the 11th day of a search for a 13 year old girl who was killed and dumped in or near a river by her 18 year old sister’s boyfriend. Following that was a story about an 18 year old boy who was shot and killed with a sawed off shot gun by a 19 year old at a party. And then there was the lady who turned herself in the following day after running over 5 people in the road and killing all 5 of them, she was drinking and now she will be charged with 5 counts of second degree manslaughter, she confessed to have been drinking at the time.
It would be nice to turn on the TV one time and not be hounded by all of the immoral things that happened that day. I watch the news just waiting to see someone that I know or went to school with get arrested for something stupid but most of the time it’s a lot younger generation that is responsible for acting a fool. Mostly teens and kid’s in there 20’s. It seems that they have no fear of God or any type of conscience. It’s amazing that at the same time there are all of those young men and women that have joined the service or have worked hard to go on to college, were raise along side of the same young men and women that are on the news or already in jail. Seems somebody had dropped the ball somewhere. Maybe it was when we started taking religion out of school and out of public places. If they are not getting any guidance from home they are certainly not getting it from school or the media. I know a lot of good kids out there and my daughter is one of them. I wish more parents would take the time to spend with their children and try and teach them some of the morals that our parents tried to teach us. And if you did not get that kind of guidance from your’s then stand up and start something new. Peace and good day.

Looking Back...

2007-11-15T13:53:00.000-06:00

There are a few women out there that may think that I owe them an apology. Well I'm sorry. I should have tried harder, I should have done better. They may never see this but just the same, I really am sorry.

I Haven't The Tears To Thank Them Enough

2007-11-12T10:13:00.000-06:00

This Is Inexcusable

2007-11-12T07:39:00.000-06:00

Chandler police probe death of K-9 left in car almost 13 hours.
Chandler police are investigating whether the head of its K-9 unit, whose police dog died after being left unattended in a squad vehicle for almost 13 hours, violated any department policies. Police are not conducting a criminal investigation because they believe Sgt. Tom Lovejoy’s actions on Saturday were at most negligent, police spokesman Sgt. Rick Griner said. To be charged with animal cruelty under state law, someone must intentionally or recklessly leave an animal in a vehicle when injury or death likely would occur. Lovejoy is still on duty and, if found to have violated policy, could face department punishment. He discovered that the dog, a 5-year-old Belgian Malinois named Bandit, had died in his police sport utility vehicle parked outside his house about 10 p.m. Saturday. Preliminary information indicates that Bandit succumbed to the extreme heat. “It’s very tragic,” Griner said. “The sergeant is very upset about this.” Lovejoy had returned home at 9:15 a.m. Saturday after completing a three-hour parking enforcement detail in downtown Chandler. Lovejoy took Bandit in case he was called out to help in the investigation of the serial rapist. Bandit was one of six police K-9s. He lived with Lovejoy and was trained to protect officers and to sniff out explosives. In 2007, Bandit and Lovejoy took fourth place at the Desert Dog Police K-9 Trials. Lovejoy has been the supervisor of the K-9 unit for four and-a-half years and has been a sergeant with the department for the last seven years. On Saturday, the high temperature was 109 degrees, according to the National Weather Service. Ten minutes in 100-degree heat can raise the temperature to 140 degrees inside a vehicle, Chandler fire spokesman Dan Couch said. Couch said the number of pets left in vehicles is far lower than the number of children left in vehicles. He estimated that there are incidents of unattended pets about two or three times each month in Chandler. The major problem dogs face is that they don’t sweat. Instead, they cool by panting, he said. Animals are left in vehicles almost on a daily basis in Arizona as people go shopping or forget their pet, said Kim Noetzel, spokeswoman for the Arizona Humane Society. She said the summer is never a good time to leave an animal in a vehicle because of the extreme heat, and she hopes the death of Bandit reminds people of that. Aprille Hollis, spokeswoman for the Maricopa County Animal Care and Control, said, “It’s just too easy to forget about” them. In March, a Phoenix police dog was left in a department vehicle and died. Police have finished an investigation but would not comment because the case remains under final review.

THIS IS A PUNISHABLE CRIME AND THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT! If you harm or injure a Police K-9 it is as punishable as harming a regular officer of the law, also if you left a child in a car under those same conditions they would hang you out to dry. Lovejoy should hang! But that's just my opinion.

This was sent to by my good friend, AZCG

OUCH !

2007-11-11T23:17:00.001-06:00

Like a big Dumb A**, I Took a fall. I twisted my ankle and fell through the Kitchen folding door. It was strong enough to not break but did not break my fall. Apparently I clinched my teeth together when I fell and busted a lower left molar on my right side. It was already decayed and ready to go I guess. You'd think that I never brush but I do so much my arm gets tired. I don't know if you can see the reddish spot in the middle of the hole but that is a friggin nerve. The sharp jagged edges of the tooth was scratching (and still is) the inside of my cheek so I ground it off a bit with a Dremal Rotary Grinder, and like I told Babz starting out at 7500 rpms was a bad idea, tooth is softer than you'd think 3500 rpms is quite enough. Anyway I got it smoothed out a little bit so it doesn't cut me when I chew. I guess I'll have to make an appointment at the Indian Dentistry Clinic pretty soon, unless the nerve dies out and then I'll probably just put it off like I normally do. What the Hell, I like soft foods anyway. Sorry if this grosses anybody out.

K-9 Killed In The Line Of Duty

2007-11-10T21:35:00.000-06:00

Memorial plans are under way for a K-9 deputy killed in the line of duty on Friday. Brisco, 6, was hit by a pickup truck while he was chasing a suspect along Interstate 35. Brisco worked with the Oklahoma County Sheriff's office for the past four years. While he wasn't on the job, he was at home with a deputy who looked after him before they were called in. "That deputy just lost a partner, and truly there's a huge bond between he and his K-9. He's holding up pretty good, but there's been a lot of tears shed," said Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel. The suspect who Brisco was chasing is in custody. Police said that man has drug charges pending in Pennsylvania. Whetsel said he hopes to also charge the man with Brisco's death.

Hinder and Three Dog Night

2007-11-05T09:26:00.000-06:00

Emily got to go see "Hinder" last Thursday at the Muskogee Expo Center with my sister Mytra. "Three Dog Night" along with some others were inducted into the Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame. "Hinder" being an Oklahoma band was recognized and played a few songs before the legendary Rock Band came out on stage. Emily got some pretty good photos and she had a great time. Now she is hooked on live concerts. She is really looking forward to seeing more bands play live.

Born To Be Wild
By Hinder
CodesAndLyrics.com

I thought I Was Smiling...

2007-11-02T04:13:00.000-05:00

I’ve started a hundred new posts. Somewhere along the way they start sounding too whiney. I turn up the music and I get into a better mood. Next thing I know I’ve deleted what I‘ve written and I’m searching music videos. A couple of hours go by and I wind up posting a music video, usually one that brings back some memories from better days. I figure it doesn’t matter anyway because people don’t leave comments the way the used too. Truth be told that’s the only reason I ever wrote anything anyway was for the comments. I’ve met some pretty cool people through comments. A lot of them have faded away. This is beginning to sound whiney and is in jeopardy of being deleted. I’ve been a man my whole life, by that I mean manly or at least what I felt was manly. You don’t ask for help, you don’t complain, and you never admit to being scared. So complaining about being scared and asking for help is like putting on a dress. It’s just not done. I have a lot more to say but if I do it will just get deleted and I’ll post an AC/DC video. I’ll just leave it with saying that I’ve made peace with my depression and I can live with it, but sometimes I feel that it is getting worse and that concerns me.

Broken

2007-10-31T02:11:00.000-05:00

Broken
By Seether ft. Amy Lee
CodesAndLyrics.com

This Is The S**t I Was Raised On

2007-10-28T03:36:00.000-05:00

Hold on Loosely
By 38 Special
CodesAndLyrics.com

God Bless Wild Eyed Southern Boys

I Have No Words Today...

2007-10-27T00:02:00.000-05:00

Smooth Criminal
By Alien Ant Farm
CodesAndLyrics.com

Tomorrow should pretty much be the same.

The Plight of an Elderly Mother...

2007-10-24T10:13:00.000-05:00

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Mother, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except the Sons-a-Bitches won't let me Fart!"

The Coolest Remix Ever!

2007-10-22T01:08:00.000-05:00

Walk This Way
By Aerosmith
CodesAndLyrics.com

Hello, My Name is Ben Dover

2007-10-16T00:27:00.000-05:00

I have a Doctors appointment today at 1:15 pm. I have to be there an hour early. It will start off with some Lab work, I’ll have blood drawn, and have to pee in a cup. Hopefully the testing will end there. After waiting an hour for the results they will probably up my "Nut Meds" but there won't be anything they can do for the constant pain. My legs have been hurting more often and now my hands are starting to hurt. Sharp pains in my fingers and the back of my hands. Nothing short of getting drunk and passing out seems to help. After the Lab and seeing the Doctor I'll have to wait for the Pharmacy to fill 13 prescriptions, yes I said 13. My worst days are the ones when I have to go to the Doctor. Setting and waiting seems to make my legs swell and hurt more than anything. Like an idiot I had ice cream tonight so my blood sugar will be a tad high also. Since I am out of the house I will probably eat out or at least pick something up to bring home which means even higher blood sugar. It will take me two or three days to get my sugar back down and get the swelling in my legs back to their normal state of pain. Like I said, going to the Doctor is my worst day. I'll be lucky if I'm home by 5:00 pm.

Will Sampson, An Oklahoma Son

2007-10-11T03:49:00.001-05:00

Will Sampson 1934 - 1987 ~ Muscogee Creek Indian 1st, painter 2nd & actor 3rd~ Born in Okmulgee, Oklahoma. Will Sampson died on June 3, 1987, of complications after a heart-lung transplant. He is buried in Grave Creek Indian Cemetery in the heart of Muscogee Nation.

This Is Some Funny S**t

2007-10-09T13:43:00.000-05:00

I stole this from Babs at Dirty Bitch Society and I think it's some funny s**t. Whether it's right or wrong when a cop says, "You Will Be Tazed" just do what they say, you can B**ch and make an A** out of yourself later when the threat of 50,000 volts being shot into your Stupid A** is not an issue. Once again this is some funny s**t!

Famous Oklahomans

2007-10-05T06:17:00.000-05:00

A list of the famous (or infamous) persons who were born or lived in the Great State of Oklahoma

Art Acord - Silent film star, 90 films between 1910 and 1929, Stillwater
Troy Aikman - Dallas Cowboys Quarterback, Henrietta

Carl Albert - McAlester, Former Speaker, US House
Tommy Allsup - Country and Western Music Entertainer. Claremore, Miami, Tulsa
Erica Anderson - Actor, (Quake, Zandalee) Tulsa
Gene Autry - Sapulpa, Actor, musician
Lou Antonio - Director/Actor (Chicago Hope), Oklahoma City
Johnny Bench - Baseball great
Black Kettle - Cheyenne, Cheyenne Chief
William "Hopalong Cassidy" Boyd - Tulsa, Actor
Garth Brooks - Of Yukon, country and western music entertainer
Paul and Thomas Braniff - Okla. City, Aviation pioneers
Anita Bryant - Tulsa, Entertainer
Jeremy Castle - Oklahoma country music singer and songwriter form Blanchard, OK
Lon Chaney - Great Horror Movie Actor, Ok
Roy Clark - Tulsa, Musician/Actor
Charles Coe - National Amateur Golfing Champion in 1949 and 1958.
Bart Conner - Olympic gold medal winner, gymnastics

Dale "Apollo" Cook - 5 time world Champion Kickboxer, Tulsa, Ok

Leroy Gordon Cooper - Of Shawnee, was among the original seven US astronauts. He orbited the earth 22 times in 1963
Joan Crawford - Lawton, Actress
Admiral William Crowe - Former Head of the Joint Chiefs-of-Staff.
Dizzy Dean - Baseball great
John Denver - Clinton, Musician
Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd - Akins, Sallisaw, Outlaw
Owen K. Gariott - Of Enid, US astronaut
James Garner - Actor
Geronimo - Fort Sill, Apache Warrior
Vince Gill - Country singer
Woody Guthrie - Considered by most to be the father of American Folk music, was born Woodrow Wilson Guthrie in Okemah, OK, July 14, 1912
Mary Hart - Okla. City, TV anchorwoman
Paul Harvey - Tulsa, Broadcast journalist
Ron Howard - Duncan, Actor/Director
Iron Eyes Cody - Actor

Ben Johnson - Actor/ 1955 World Champion All Around Cowboy

Toby Keith - Moore, Musician
Jean Kirkpatrick - Ambassador to the United Nations
Gordon William "Pawnee Bill" Lillie - Pawnee, Wild West Show
Dr. Shannon Lucid - Of Oklahoma City, a US astronaut. She was on board the space shuttle Atlantis during its flight in October of 1989
Reba McEntire - Country and western music entertainer
Phillip C McGraw "Dr. Phil" - Okla. City, TV Host

Wilma Mankiller - Former Chief of the Cherokees
Mickey Mantle - Baseball great.
Pepper Martin - Baseball great
Shannon Miller - Edmond, Gymnast
Kenny Monday - Great wrestler and athlete
Bobby Murcer - Okla. City, Baseball great.
Carry Nation - Of Guthrie, led the fight for prohibition (we're sorry)
Bill Pickett - Ponca City, Invented bulldogging
Brad Pitt - Shawnee, Actor
William R. Pogue - Of Okemah, among the original seven US astronauts. He returned to earth on February 8, 1974 after 84 days in space.
Darrell Porter - Baseball great
Wiley Post - A Native Oklahoman and a pioneer in the field of aviation. He was the first to discover the jet stream and the first ever to design and wear a space suit
Lynn Riggs - Author, writer "Green Grow The Lilacs" from which script Rodgers and Hammerstein - wrote the Broadway musical hit "Oklahoma!"
Will Rogers - Humorist, entertainer, ambassador-at-large
Stuart A Roosa - Of Claremore, a US astronaut
Will Sampson - Actor, Okmulgee

C. E. Shoemake - Jeti-Ninja-Cowboy, Muskogee, Ok

Jim Shoulders - Henryetta, Ok. World Champion Bull Rider, Bareback Rider, Oklahoma Hall of Fame, Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame and the ProRodeo Hall of Fame.

John Smith - Great wrestler and athlete
Thomas P Stafford - Of Weatherford, US astronaut who commanded the joint United States-Soviet
Belle Starr - Outlaw 1846-1889, was called the "Queen of the Outlaws" , "a female Jesse James"
Willie Stargell - Baseball great
Bill Tilghman - Bat Masterson called him "The greatest of us all." Bill Tilghman was a fearless gunfighter who rode with a badge throughout Indian Territory in the 1890's as one of the "Three Guardsmen." He was responsible of arresting dozens of hardened outlaws and criminals during his life and participated in many gunfights. After retiring from law enforcement, he was coaxed into wearing his badge one more time in 1924 at the age of 70 in a wild and woolly oil boom town of Cromwell, Oklahoma where a young drunk shot and killed him without provocation
Rip Torn - Actor

Bob Tway - Of Edmond, he won the PGA Championship in 1986
Jim Thorpe - One of Oklahoma's greatest athletes. At the 1912 Olympics, the King of Sweden declared that Thorpe was "the greatest athlete in the world."
Wayman Tisdale - Great basketball player and athlete
Carrie Underwood - Of Checotah. American Idol winner 2005.
Paul and Lloyd Waner - Outfielders from Harrah, OK. The only brothers in the National Baseball Hall of Fame
JC Watts - Sooner quarterback, U.S. congressman
Todd Whatley - Hugo Ok. 1947 World Champion All Around Cowboy

Bud Wilkerson - Norman, Football

Trisha Yearwood - Country Singer

This obviously is not a complete list of famous people who were born or who have lived in Oklahoma. If you can think of anyone I missed let me know.

The Oklahoma Flag

2007-10-04T23:31:00.000-05:00

The Oklahoma state flag honors more than 60 groups of Native Americans and their ancestors. The blue field comes from a flag carried by Choctaw soldiers during the civil war. The center shield is the battle shield of an Osage warrior. It is made of buffalo hide and decorated with eagle feathers. Two symbols of peace lie across the shield. One is the calumet, or peace pipe. The other is an olive branch. Crosses on the shield are Native American signs for stars, representing high ideals.

Oklahoma State Flowers

2007-10-04T01:28:00.000-05:00

When it comes to state flora, one must be careful to differentiate in Oklahoma. The Sooner State is represented, in one way or another, by three official flowers:

Official floral emblem - Mistletoe

Official state wild flower - Indian Blanket

Official state flower - Hybrid Tea Rose, "Oklahoma"

Mistletoe was adopted as the official floral emblem in 1893, while Oklahoma was still a territory. It was adopted by the State of Oklahoma in 1910.

Oklahoma also adopted the official state wild flower, the Indian blanket, in 1910.

It wasn't until 2004 that the "Oklahoma rose" joined the list.

The Oklahoma rose is a hybrid tea rose [Rosa odorata (Andr.) Sweet] developed in 1964 by Herbert C. Swim and O.L. Weeks at Oklahoma State University.

Karma

2007-10-03T01:02:00.001-05:00

I try to live my life by the rule that if I say my prayers, try as hard as I can to always do the right thing, help people when I can, and always tell the truth that nothing bad will happen to me or at least nothing that I can’t handle. I try to follow the ten commandments and the golden rule. I think before I make any decisions and I give thanks for everything that I have or receive in life. But lately a few things have happened that makes me think that I have missed something somewhere. I play by the rules but still certain things bite me on the backside and it‘s usually financial. I live on an extremely tight budget and if anything out of the normal happens it sets me back and I have no way of catching up. So my sister has been picking up the bill for anything that pops up. Well she can’t afford to keep doing it either so this has got to stop. I feel like I must be doing something wrong. So I’m gonna make a list of my bad habits and take a good look at them and try and do better, I just hope the list doesn’t get out of control. Here goes;

1. Lazy
2. Eat too much
3. Judge people in my head
4. Look at women with lustful thoughts
5. Curse
6. Lose temper

Well I’m highly surprised that the list was not a whole lot bigger. This shouldn’t be too hard to work on. I will look at the list often and work on it and add to it if need be. My friend X would say that it’s Karma but I like to think that God has a hand in it, maybe both play a part in they way things turn out, I’d hate to rule out anything and then find out later in life or death that I was completely wrong. Anyway I’m sure that we can all better ourselves if we tried. Take care and have a good week.

Oklahoma's State Bird

2007-10-02T07:51:00.001-05:00

The Scissor-tailed Flycatcher (Tyrannus forficatus) State Bird of Oklahoma. Commonly seen on highlines and fence wires throughout Oklahoma.

Number Ten Is Good

2007-10-01T23:54:00.001-05:00

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't you start anything.

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "This taste funny to you?"

7. Patient: "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home,'" Doc comments "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." Patient asks "Is it common?" Doc: Well, "It's Not Unusual..."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10 . DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20 . And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Beef... It's What's For Dinner!

2007-10-01T02:36:00.000-05:00

I would say that all Vegetarians and Vegans could just take a flyin' bite at my butt, but now that would go against their cause wouldn’t it? 'Cause if it's wrong to be eatin' red meat, then I'm far from right 'cause I be lovin' me some a dat porterhouse steak, yes I do! Snuggle it up agin' a baked potato all smothered in butter with and salt and pepper, a big ol' piece or two a Texas toast all ready to sop up whatever's left on the plate, along with a tall cold glass of iced sweet tea, and Lord have mercy lookout and don't get between me and my plate because you is liable to draw back a nub. Mmm-Mmm that's some mighty good eatin' yes'er is.

Oklahoma Centennial

2007-09-29T00:28:00.000-05:00

Oklahoma celebrates it's 100 years of statehood this year. It was the 46th State incorporated into the Union. Before statehood it was known as Indian Territory and before that it was part of the Louisiana Purchase. The word “Oklahoma” comes from two Choctaw words that mean, Land of the Red Man.

This is a Redbud tree (Cercis Canadensis) it is the state tree of Oklahoma, I have one in my front yard.

Ingrid Michaelson

2007-09-27T01:02:00.000-05:00

This is Ingrid, she doesn't know it yet but she is my new woman. I'm planning a trip to New York soon to surprise her. I sure hope the stalking laws there are more lenient than they are here.

“The Way I Am”

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
If you need a light, I'd find a match.

Cuz I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
If your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.
I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all
your hair.
And sew on patches to all you tear.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever
promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

What More Could Anyone Want ?

2007-09-25T14:11:00.000-05:00

My mother and father have already passed away. Emily never met them. They were good parents, I have no complaints. Only regrets. My brother just passed away not too long ago. I miss him almost every day. I see things that remind me of him everywhere. I see things I know he would like or be interested in, I see things or have moments that I would like to share with him. I wonder what he would think about certain things. I would like to hear his voice or see him smile.
My regrets about family that have passed on is that I did not tell them I loved them enough. I had plenty of chances but just did not do it. I wished that I had spent more time with them. I wish that I had done more for them or that I had given them more. A lot of times it would have been easy, I just didn’t think about it.
My daughter Emily tells me she loves me probably ten times a day. She hugs me everyday and kisses me before she goes to bed and when she get’s home from school. She does something (many things) for me everyday. When I am gone I hope she realizes this and has no regrets, only good thoughts. Everyday she gives me the things that I wish I had given the people that I love. What more could anyone want.

We Celebrate Our Blacksheep

2007-09-20T07:58:00.000-05:00

Most families might shy away from the truth about having an Outlaw in the family tree. Not rednecks or Shoemakes. We celebrate the fact, even brag about them when given the chance. We had relatives on both sides or the law. The deputy sheriff mentioned in the article, Dick Shoemake was my Great Grandpa's brother and his nephew Cole Shoemake was of course the outlaw. Go here to, "Wanted! On The Trail Of An Outlaw" and read the whole story. It even links the Shoemakes by acquaintance to the notorious outlaw, "Henry Starr" nephew of famed outlaw, "Belle Starr" anyway it's interesting reading and not too long. Click on the link and check it out.

It's Always Something

2007-09-19T15:09:00.001-05:00

My 12 year old nephew Daniel, is a world class ranked kickboxing champion for his age and weight bracket. He is a remarkable kid. He is disciplined and works out regularly. He has surpassed his instructor and is looking for someone worthy of his caliber to train him. My brother got a call from his school today, it seems young Daniel was caught with a bag of Marijuana. Now he has been sentenced to 45 days of Alternative School. That’s a separate school for problem students and students needing disciplinary action other than what the mainstream school can provide. His story is that he found the bag at school and was not sure if it really was weed or not and that he wanted to bring it home to his dad to see if it was real or not. He says that he did not show it to anyone or mention it but two little punks narked on him and got him busted. Not to mention that the school called the police and now my brother is on his way to the police station to deal with them an the matter. Daniel is a good kid and I tend to believe him for the most part but still he is only 12 and still does not have the ability to make the best decisions all of the time. But what ever the truth may be it remains that two little punks narked on him and I’m sure that Daniel is a lot better kid than either of them. I wonder if they realize that he could mop the floor with both of them. Hell the weed is probably theirs. I hope the police go easy on him, he‘s been through enough already. This could be something that follows him around and blows up in his face someday. It only takes one mistake.

Concussed or Not.

2007-09-18T23:12:00.000-05:00

My youngest brother James who is 36 is in the hospital tonight, he went to the emergency room just before dark, he was riding a friends dirt bike after work just as the sun was going down and he ran into an electrical box that was on the ground and partially obscured by tall weeds. They said he was going about 45 miles an hour when he hit it and went flying over the handlebars and landed on his head about 30 feet away. He got right up and went to see about the bike but he did not remember what happened, and although it was explained to him several times he kept asking and was getting a little emotional about it and seemed overly worried. They took him to the E.R. and the doctors confirmed that he was indeed concussed and last I heard were taking him in for a CAT Scan (Computerized Axial Tomography or CT Scan). He has a good friend with him and my sister is there also, they should release him tonight and he lives with my sister anyway so she’ll take him home and keep an eye on him. And yes the dumbass was not wearing a helmet. It’s a good thing he landed on his head, it would have probably killed a normal human being. I thank the Lord that he is ok.

It's Cooling Off Some

2007-09-16T07:57:00.000-05:00

I got out of the hospital in July of 2006 and I started a diet. I tried to change my lifestyle instead of just starting a diet because if you don’t change everything as soon as you slow down on the diet you start to gain it all back. I lost about 60 pounds before I started to slip back to the old ways. I’ve gained back a lot of the weight and I keep telling myself that I need to get motivated to do it again. I don’t want to start exercising to much in the beginning because adding muscle gets confusing with the loss of weight because muscle weighs more than fat so my plan will be the same as last time, lose the weight gradually changing eating habits instead of just doing away with all of the bad food all at once. Work on quantities then gradually switch to quality of food then add an exercise regimen. Then maybe I can get back to my fighting weight and become more mobile. I’d like to get out into the woods some this Fall and Winter and do some hunting and camping. I always feel more alive doing that than anything else.

It's An Itsy Bitsy, Teency Weency, Yellow...

2007-09-12T23:50:00.000-05:00

I was just wondering if anyone was paying attention. Traffic around here has been kind of slow lately. Maybe I should post a few pictures of some buffed guys or something.

RF4RP

2007-09-10T00:12:00.000-05:00

Hey Folks, you need to keep checking out Babs and My other site, "Real Food For Real People" (RF4RP) You can get some interesting recipes or even leave a few for us to post. It's a fun and creative way to share food ideas. Everybody has to eat so stop by and check it out. Good day and good eating

Hillbillies

2007-09-07T07:42:00.001-05:00

Two Hillbilies wuz sittin' on a bench passin' the time a day, when one turned to the other and sez,

"Tell me sumptin' Jethro, if'n I wuz to bed yore wife Barbra Jeen, wood that make us kin?"

Jethro thot on it fer a spell and finally sez,

"Nope, jes even."

Under Construction

2007-08-27T12:44:00.000-05:00

I've kind of grown tired of this Template. I'm gonna find something that suits me better or go back to the original format of white on black. It may motivate me to be more involved and write more. Bare with me, once I decide it shouldn't be too long. Peace to all and have a good week.

The Funk Is Fading Slowly...

2007-08-16T08:08:00.000-05:00

102 degrees today, with Oklahoma humidity that's about 112, 115 anywhere else. My A/C took a dive last night and I start sweating at anything over 72. It was 82 at 3:00 am this morning. Em started school yesterday and she said the A/C does not work, all though the school was remodeled over the Summer and every room has a new flat screen TV and the cafeteria has 16 of them. She has a 25 minute lunch and it takes 10 to 15 minutes to get it and sit down so what the Hell is she gonna watch in 5 minutes? (she'll need 5 just to get back to class on time) People in education can make some real Dumb**s decisions. Anyway, last month my fridge died and the month before that my computer crashed and burned and I lost everything. Most of my life was on that computer (with no back up or anything saved) I lost addresses, numbers, a buttload of personal info, and about 2000 songs. And so far "VISTA" SUCKS ! I could barely fake my way through "XP" Now I have to figure out a whole new system, I'm too old for this C**P and besides, I think I'm in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, either that or I'm just a Dumb**s. Also with a new computer I finally decided to go High Speed with AT&T so now I have a new provider and a new e-mail system that half the time I can't even find becuse they wouldn't let me use the name or password I wanted so now my Blogger account and my Google account and everything else that I registered with my old e-mail and password is F**ked up and I don't have the brain power to change it all and then remember what the Hell I changed it to. Anyway, my original point was that it's been tough on someone with a fixed income, I don't know how I've stayed afloat so far but my new computer is 3 times better than my old one and my new fridge is big enough for a restaurant to use, so I guess that I'll just have to wait and see how the A/C turns out.

This Post was for AZCG, Babs, Xmichra, Shane, Wys, Hannalie, Chef, Kaliblue, Jo, and anyone else who may have been wondering about Chuck. I've been in a Funk and it's been hard to climb out of, and I'm not clear of it yet. Miss you all.

Here's To The Sunny Slopes Of Long Ago...

2007-06-14T23:31:00.000-05:00

There is a place in my head where I will go. A place where sorrow and pain can not find me. A place covered with tall grass, rolling hills, and bright blue skies. The only sounds will be the swaying of the grass in the gentle breeze and the whistle of birds playing. A place where I will feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and my legs will be strong again. I will stand in the grass and let the grass brush past my finger tips as it sways. A place where I can see my brother's face and not be sad. A place where the memories will put a smile on my face instead of tears in my eyes.

Friday after they disconnected his ventilator, I sat with my brother while the breath left his body. His wife came in for a while then left, my other brother was there and a longtime family friend stood with us. Other people came in and out but I never left his side. For over two hours his chest would jerk and heave as he struggled to take his short gasps of air. Our friend said that there has to be a better way of dong this. I agreed. His eyes were open but he was not there. It was a hard two hours. I held his hand, it was cold but he was sweating. Slowly he began to calm down and his breathing came to a halt. It was a welcomed silence. Choking back the tears as best I could, I read the Lord’s Prayer out loud. I want my brother to go to Heaven. I want to see him again someday along with our parents. I hope when my time comes to pass that if I’m not able, someone will say the same prayer for me.

-- Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen --

(I didn't cry today)

Monday...

2007-06-12T02:09:00.000-05:00

Monday June 11th at 3:00 PM, we had the Memorial service for my brother Larry Ray today. I saw people that I’d hadn’t seen in over 25 years. I saw people that I had loved at one time or the other. Until today I had never regretted my life. Even with my failures and pains I’d always felt like I had led a good life and that everything was worth it. I had a wonderful father and mother all though they were taken from us too soon. My mom was 49 and my dad 54 when they passed, 3 years apart. I’d had a good relations with all of my brothers and sister. My marriage short as it was, my daughter the best thing that ever happened to me (and still is) my real friends were few but great. I had and have a good relation with God and it’s only gotten better with time. But so many of the people that I saw today were from a different time in my life. From a time when I could have taken many different directions that would have made my life so different. Maybe better maybe worse. During the service my mind wondered. What had happened along the way that I had turned away from these people and taken a path that led me elsewhere. Some of these people I had loved. Some I had thought of as family. Some I had gone to church with and shared meals with. Some I had worked with and some I had known as my brother’s best friends which I’d run around with and grew up with also. My ex wife was there, I see her quite often and we get along pretty well but if I’d known that she was gonna age this well I might have tried harder because she is still hot. There were a few girls there that I had crushes on when I was younger, a couple that I’d even gone out with once or twice. Now they are married and showing me pictures of their kids and even grandkids. Most people there had never seen me in a wheelchair before and I was worried that they would make a fuss over me, and that was the last thing I wanted. This day was not about me and I did not want to spend it explaining why I was in the chair, but it was not too bad. I tend to think things are gonna be worse than they are sometimes. We visited a lot and went to my sister’s afterwards and visited some more. And when it was over and I got home my fears were realized. I had been worried since Friday that when this day was over and all was said and done and everyone was gone and it was quiet again, that I would return home and it would finally hit me. Hit me worse that it already had if that was even possible. My brother, my big brother was gone. So I cried again. And I know that it’s not over and it won’t be anytime soon. I know I’m not the first person to lose a brother but it’s my first time to lose one and I have nothing good to say about it. I miss him. I try and look down the road and I know that I’ll miss him then too. Stupid me got out the family pictures when I got home. That was the wrong thing to do. Larry was the first born so naturally the folks took ten times more pictures of him than the rest of us. I figured out how dumb this was so I put them back away for another time. Maybe a time when it wouldn’t be so hard. If it seems that I’m starting to ramble it’s because I am. I don’t want to get off of here because I’ll start to think too much again. You can only cry so much and then sleep will take over. I’ve done a lot of that in the last four days. Sleep, eat, stair at the wall, sleep, eat, stair at the wall, and then take some medication and sleep some more. Whoever said that denial was a bad thing? If the meds and whiskey hold out I may make it through the week. Peace and good fortune to all.

Larry Ray Shoemake, Born Nov. 22nd, 1954 - Died June 8th, 2007

Saturday...

2007-06-10T03:34:00.000-05:00

I cried, I screamed as loud as I could, for as long as I could. I stomped the floor and I cried again. I prayed and after a while I laid down in bed and cried some more. I thought that either I could drink a bottle of Jack Daniel’s or take some pills that would make me sleep. I opted for the pills. At first when I woke up I didn’t know whether it was day or night. I cried again. Through out the rest of the day, every now and then I would start crying. Each time it wasn’t for very long, just enough to give me a headache. I keep picturing my brother’s face. The way he looked when he was young and healthy and then the way he looked the last time I saw him in the hospital. I hope the one where he is young will finally win out and completely replace the one where he is sick.
His memorial service is Monday. It’s gonna be a long day. Afterwards Emily is going to her mom’s for the rest of the week. It’s gonna be a long week. When my mom died I got mad and wanted to know why. When my dad died I got even madder and still wanted to know why. Now that my brother is gone I’m not getting mad and I don’t really care why. I know that it’s just the way things are. It doesn’t make it any easier. All anyone can do is just keep breathing. If it wasn’t for Emily I think that I could just lay down and stop.

Larry Ray Shoemake

2007-06-08T18:14:00.000-05:00

My Big Brother, Larry Ray Shoemake 52 of Muskogee, Oklahoma was born on November 22nd, 1954. He passed away today, Friday , June 8th, 2007 at around 12:55 PM. He had a heart attack last Monday, it was his 9th one in less than a year. He suffered from Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and kidney failure. He had to take dialysis 3 times per week for 4 hours each time. He hated it and he was tired. He taught me everything and I could write about him for hours, but not right now. I miss him like crazy already, it hurts to breathe. He loved all things Cowboy, he loved Appaloosas, and he loved his wife Fran. Like I said he was my Big Brother and a Damn fine one at that. My world will not be right for a long time, if ever again.

Eleven Things That Piss Me Off Lately (ten just wasn't enough)

2007-05-27T22:01:00.000-05:00

1. People that say, “I Support Our Troops” What the Hell have they done to support anything? Put a $1.95 sticker on the back of their Hyundai! (and btw, it’s friggin’ crooked) Don't get me wrong, I LOVE OUR TROOPS, I only wish that I could do something to really support them other than pray for them daily.

2. People who use the word, “your” in place of “you’re” and visa-versa. These are the same people who don’t know the difference between, “weather” and, “whether”.

3. People who type like this, “EvErY gOOd bOY dOEs fInE.” What the Hell is up with that crap?

4. Peeple thet mispale everthin to tri an hyde tha fakt thet thay kan’t spale ne thin. I can’t spell and most people know it so why try and hide it, I even screw up using “Spell Check”.

5. People’s personal profiles that say, “I like to have fun”. Duh! Who the Hell doesn’t?

6. REALITY TV! (no explanation needed)

7. Going to McDonalds and getting the ketchup on the OUTSIDE of my double cheeseburger!

8. Constantly having to sign in on Blogger using my Google account!!!

9. Getting 192 pieces of mail every friggin' week. (4 bills, 100 coupons, 1 letter from AT&T telling me that Cingular is the new AT&T, and 87 letters from various VISA Companies telling me that I’m PRE approved to be turned down for a credit card)

10. E-Mails trying to get me to refinance my home - telling me that some rich widow wants to give me 2.5 million dollars and all I have to do is give her all of my personal information, and don’t bother trying to call her because of some freaky throat disease she can no longer talk - trying to get me to purchase discount drugs - or my favorite one, Size does matter, but don’t worry because now you can increase the length AND girth of your Penis with a simple pill, “VIMAX”

11. Rosie O’Donnell (maybe if she would take some of that Twinkie money and buy a Stairmaster or something she could get laid by a Man and then she might not be such a Bee-yotch!)

Sorry… my bad. No offense to Lesbians, or the fine people at Hostess.

John Wayne

2007-05-26T02:15:00.000-05:00

May 26, 2007
Marion Michael Morrison would have been 100 years old today. Come Sundown I'll have a shot of Tequila... or two.

Faith and Religion

2007-05-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine said something wise to me, he said, “people don’t go to church because of church people.” now that’s hitting the nail on the head, it should be on a t-shirt or something. People don’t go to church because of other people, not so much because of the clergy but because of the people sitting in the pews. You know why God takes care of drunks and fools? I used to go to this all night diner to drink coffee with some friends, it was our hangout spot. The waitresses there that had the most seniority got to pick their own schedules, they always picked Friday and Saturday nights when the bars let out and shied away from the Sunday and Wednesday church crowds. A drunk would chose from the buffet, drink a cup of coffee and leave a big tip. The church crowd would ask for a lot of extra everything, order a single hamburger for three kids have you cut it up and then deliver it to the three different tables where they were sitting , leave a huge mess and a .37 cent tip from ten people
I was Baptized when I was thirteen years old in the Methodist Church. I was raised Baptist at home but we did not attend church as a kid. I wasn’t sure about getting Baptized because I wasn’t sure what it meant. I talked with some friends at church, our youth minister, and even some of the Elders. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reason. Looking back, that was pretty wise for a thirteen year old boy. A few years later I started going to an Assembly of God Church with my older brother, I liked it quite a bit though I never could get used to people speaking in Tongues. My bother told me to keep an open mind and just do what my heart told me to do. So I let people do what they wanted to and I remained silent. Eventually for one reason or the other I stopped going to church. Looking back it was always because of the people I stopped going (I know that’s a poor excuse) I used to worry about what people thought too much. Through the years I would always pray, not everyday but occasionally. I was always a little apprehensive about giving myself completely to God, I thought I would miss out on the fun stuff or that I would fail and not be worthy of Heaven. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and then some. I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of. I’ve sinned with the best of them and still do (I’m working on that) Almost two years ago I finally got the nerve to give myself to God. I still don’t go to church, I have the Don Williams outlook on that, “I don’t believe that Heaven waits, for only those who congregate” I speak of the Lord and share with other as much as possible, I try and teach my daughter. I’ve put it all in Gods hand’s and he has done a remarkable job in taking care of me. I’ve gotten through every obstacle in my life and I know that I will continue to do so. All I have to do is my best. Be honest, be helpful, be forgiving, say my prayers, and just do the right thing. I work on my short comings and try and include God in all of my decisions. It’s really pretty easy and I wish that I would have figured this out long ago. I miss out on nothing and the reward is grand. I’m no Holy Roller, I am who I am, and as long as God knows what’s in my heart nothing else matters. He will see to it that I get what I need, maybe not what I want but always what’s really important and I’ll always get by, and the day when I don’t, it’s ok because I’ll be in Heaven and it can’t get better than that. BTW, J.E. Cook is my friend and Brother and a Christian too. I hope he finds happiness along his path. Peace.

Ramblings of a Disturbed Man...

2007-05-18T05:00:00.000-05:00

4:31 in the AM. My back is cold, maybe it’s because my back is to the A/C which shouldn’t be on to begin with. I’m hungry. My stomach is doing hula hoops around my a**hole. I’ve been to the toilet 97 times today. The softest toilet paper there is, is still not soft enough after 97 times. 4:35 in the AM. My kid gets up for school in 25 minutes. My left leg is swollen half again its normal size. The grass in my front yard is over a foot tall. Both of my dogs have fleas. Flea collars do not work. The fleas are already really bad this year. I had a new half gallon of flea and tick spray for the yard (the kind you hook up to your water hose and soak the yard with) I kept it over the sink with the rest of the chemicals. Apparently it had a leak because it is empty now. Where did it go?
I was gonna watch a DVD but my Digital VD player suddenly became picky about what it chooses to do and not do. 4:41 an the AM. A small moth is barn storming my PC monitor. I deleted my cookies. I also deleted all of my e-mails. There are fleas in my bed. I’m wondering what photo will go best with this post. I might choose one that has nothing to do with anything. 4:46 in the AM. I’m averaging about nine words a minute with only fourteen errors. I wonder if Maloxx (or is it Mallox) no, I believe its Maalox, anyway does it do anything for gas? Always remember once you are past 40 do NOT trust your farts! 4:50 in the AM. The birds are starting to chirp. I should probably post this and get off before the alarm goes off. By the time I find a random photo and upload it, it should be just about 5:00 in the AM. Have a good day.
Oh, I found a photo. It’s of Alicia Keys. She has nothing to do with my rambles, she’s just so Damn fine that I would drink her bath water, or at least make soup out of her panties. I saw her last week in “Smokin’ Aces” and she was FINE. I need sleep. Peace.

I'm Still Kickin' ...

2007-05-12T04:46:00.000-05:00

My Friggin' computer fried about two weeks ago. It refused to stay turned on. The Computer Spaz down at the computer shop (where I will no further do business) said it was the power supply. It was supposed to take a week to get the part. I told him to just “next day air” that bad boy and I’d be glad to pay the extra. I guess people with that level of computer knowledge and skills lack the ability to process information given to them from normal folk, that and the ability to use a phone because he screwed it up and it took nine days (business) and he still forgot to call me when it was ready. So I called him and said, “hey, what’s up with the delay? It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve had any porn. He saw no humor in this and said that my “unit” was ready. He also said that after plugging in the new power supply that it still would not work, so he did some more troubleshooting and discovered that the floppy disc drive was jacked up some how and causing the shutdown problem, so he unplugged it and now the "unit" works fine. Now correct me if I’m retarded. Being that the part I paid for (the power supply - $49.95) did not fix the problem and that simply unplugging the floppy disc drive did fix it, why in the Hell am I paying for the power supply and now I have no floppy disc capabilities ? I haven’t used a floppy disc in over a year anyway, not since I purchased a jump-drive but I would still like for my computer to be at 100 %. I paid him anyway and will not use him again, I was not waiting any longer or going without a computer for another week. I can get the disc drive from Staples and install it myself later. So that’s why I’ve been on hiatus for the last couple of weeks. I’d gotten use to doing all of my banking and bill paying on line and I have a butt-load of that to catch up on, not to mention a few hundred E-mails. Well I guess it will give me something to do this weekend while the kid is away at her mom’s. So peace to all and take care. I’ll try and get around and visit soon.

10 GOOD THINGS

2007-04-20T07:42:00.000-05:00

1. An ice cold beer on a hot day.
2. Not having to say a word.
3. The sun in your face.
4. A good dog.
5. Hearing an old favorite song.
6. A hot dog on a stick.
7. Smiling for no reason.
8. Someone you really like touching you.
9. Clean sheets.
10. Faith.

10 BAD THINGS

1. Bills.
2. Hate.
3. Having to cut the grass.
4. Being lonely.
5. Flies.
6. Cheap whiskey
7. Poor health.
8. Lies
9. Hungry children.
10. No Faith.

TEN THINGS I KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

2007-04-18T13:47:00.000-05:00

1. They have a Vagina.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. Oh Yeah, and Tits.

Momma Don't Play !

2007-04-10T15:19:00.000-05:00

In case you can't read his sign, it says,

"Hi !! I'm 13 years old and I steal, I want to go to Prison to be with my Daddy."

We need more Moms like this one.

(Sent to me by Donnie)

Pissing and Moaning...

2007-04-06T11:46:00.000-05:00

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed the nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then he heard the dog moan loudly and then the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

NOTE : There was more on the Pet Food recall last night on "NightLine" on channel 2, something about "SUNSHINE" dog biscuits. I didn't get a chance to watch it, I was busy somewhere else. I'm worried about feeding my dogs anything. I've been feeding them cubed Spam for a week now. I have some Pedigree brand dog food but I'm even leery of using it. Good luck to all and your pets.

UPDATE TO PET FOOD RECALL:

2007-04-04T15:03:00.000-05:00

The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) has released the following statement concerning the PURINA involvement in the latest pet food recall:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- St. Louis, Missouri, March 30, 2007 . . . Nestlé Purina PetCare Company today announced it is voluntarily recalling all sizes and varieties of its ALPO® Prime Cuts in Gravy wet dog food with specific date codes. The Company is taking this voluntary action after learning today that wheat gluten containing melamine, a substance not approved for use in food, was provided to Purina by the same company that also supplied Menu Foods. The contamination occurred in a limited production quantity at only one of Purina’s 17 pet food manufacturing facilities.

Earlier today the FDA announced the finding of melamine in products related to the March 16 Menu Foods recall, and advised Purina of the source of the contaminated supply. Purina then determined that it had received some quantity from the suspect supplier. The company proactively notified the FDA and immediately began this recall process.

Purina is confident that the contaminated wheat gluten has been isolated to this limited production quantity of ALPO Prime Cuts canned products.
The recalled 13.2-ounce and 22-ounce ALPO Prime Cuts cans and 6-, 8-, 12- and 24-can ALPO Prime Cuts Variety Packs have four-digit code dates of 7037 through 7053, followed by the plant code 1159. Those codes follow a "Best Before Feb. 2009" date.** This information should be checked on the bottom of the can or the top or side of the multi-pack cartons.

Purina’s 5.3-ounce Mighty Dog® pouch products, manufactured by Menu Foods, were previously withdrawn from the market as a precaution on March 16 as part of the Menu Foods recall. ONLY Mighty Dog pouch products and specific date codes of ALPO Prime Cuts canned dog food are being recalled.

Importantly, no Purina brand dry pet foods are affected by the recall – including ALPO Prime Cuts dry. In addition, no other Purina dog food products, no Purina cat food products, Purina treat products or Purina Veterinary Diet products are included in this recall, nor have been impacted by the contaminated wheat gluten supply.

Consumers should immediately stop feeding ALPO Prime Cuts products with the above-listed date codes to their dogs and consult with a veterinarian if they have any health concerns with their pet.

Purina guarantees all of its products, and consumers can receive the full replacement value of the recalled products. Consumers can visit us at www.purina.com or call 1-800-218-5898, Monday through Friday, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. CDT, to receive more information.

ANOTHER PET FOOD RECALL !!

2007-04-03T14:21:00.000-05:00

I WAS TOLD THAT THERE WAS ANOTHER PET FOOD RECALL. THIS TIME IT WAS ON PURINA PET FOODS AND IN PARTICULARLY "PRIME CUTS". NOW THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I FEED MY DOGS, BOTH IN IT'S DRY AND CANNED FORM. I LEAVE THE DRY OUT FOR THEM ALL OF THE TIME AND FEED THEM A LARGE CAN, 22 OZ. EVERY OTHER DAY. ON THE ODD DAYS THEY GET A PACKAGE OF WIENERS. I DON'T KNOW WHY I STARTED THIS, WIENERS ARE AS CHEAP AS DOG FOOD AND THEY SURE LOVE THEM. THEY LOOK AND STAY HEALTHY SO I DON'T BOTHER TO CHANGE IT. PLUS THEY GET A BUTT-LOAD OF TABLE SCRAPS. ANYWAY I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO RESEARCH THE RECALL LIST BETTER, I'LL GET ON THAT LATER, FOR THE MEAN TIME I'M NOT FEEDING THEM ANY PACKAGED OR CANNED DOG FOOD. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR PETS.

I Must Be Getting Old...

2007-04-01T04:50:00.000-05:00

The other day I slipped in the bathroom and instead of yelling, “S**t!” or, “Oh F**K” or something along those lines I yelled, “Oh Goodness Gracious”. I immediately thought of Walter Brennan, and if I need to explain to you who he is then you’re too young to appreciate this anyway. I also used the word, “hanker” in a comment to a comment while ago (hanker - “to want”) It got me to thinking of a lot of things that older people say or terms they use, things my Grandparents and Mom and Dad used to say or things I used to hear on TV as a kid. Sure signs to a person advancing in their years. So I thought I would make a short list of some of these words, phrases, and sayings, I say a short list because there are so many of them I could be here for days if I tried to make a more complete longer list. If any of you have any favorites that I’ve left out, feel free to comment on them and I may sit down some day and make a revised list. All though use of some of these may actually date you so be careful. And BTW, Walter Brennan is another one of my favorite old actors. Thanks and have a good week.

Some items in this list are self explanatory, some will be followed by an explanation, while others I may not have a clue as to what they actually mean or where they come from, they will be followed by an exclamation, (?) meaning, “what the hell?”

1. “By Yimmeny”
2. “Jumpin’ Geehazifat”
3. “Shabow” (butt)
4. “Tighter ‘n Dick’s hatband”
5. “No bigger ‘n a Corn Nubbin” - (?)
6. “You don’t know S**t from Shinola” (wasn’t “Shinola” shoe polish?)
7. “a divan” (a couch or settee)
8. “Geewillikers” (?)
9. “Good Golly”
10. “More than you can shake a stick at”
11. “Hunker Down”
12. “Sakes Alive” (often preceded by “Goodness Gracious)
13. “For Pete’s sake” or, “For the love of Pete“ (who’s Pete?)
14. “Tally Whacker” (a pecker)
15. “Curmudgeon “ (a killjoy or wet blanket)
16. “Fickle Fart”
17. “Hoo Head John” (whiskey)
18. “Bust Head” (whiskey)
19. “John Barley Corn” (whiskey or beer)
20. “Drunker ‘n Cooter Brown” (who was he and why did he drink so much?)
21. “Nine kinds of” (a whole bunch)
22. “The whole Nine yards” (what’s up with the # Nine?)
23. “Fist O’ Cuffs” (fighting fist to fist)
24. “On the Cuff” (for free or on credit, I’m not sure which)
25. “Pitching Woo” (I’m not sure but I think my Dad did it to my Mom)
26. “Shinin, Putting On, Spoofin, Boshin, or Kidding (to tease or to fool)
27. “Whackin Pucky”or “Stickum Pucky“ (glue?)
28. “I’ll be hot digity” or “hot digity dog”
29. “The Dickens” (what the Hell is the “Dickens” and how can someone “be” it or how can you “give” it to some one?)
30. “Crimeny” (?)

There are a whole lot more and if you are from the South or just country in general there are a butt-load more. The more I started thinking of them and saying them out loud the more Hillbilly sounding I became. Anyway it’s something to think about.

Nothing In Particular

2007-03-30T15:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I go a while without posting anything new. I have quite a bit of things already written and waiting. I even have a bunch of jokes saved up, mostly ones that friends have E-Mailed me. But for some reason I’m not inspired to post them. I don’t spend as much time on the computer as I used to. I sit at home most of the time with nothing in particular to do. I sleep, eat, watch TV, and pester my Daughter. When I’m not doing any of those I’m doing my best to wear out a set of fingers scratching a dog. The less I write the less people stop by and for that I am sorry. I miss a lot of my old Blogging friends that have faded away for one reason or the other. Sometimes I think of joining them and just hitting the “Delete This Blog” button. I miss my old blog. It might not have been as cool looking but it was more me. Maybe I’ll get the urge and change this some, I’m not too happy with the color, I don’t like the white background and the dark color of the text. Anyway, changing the subject quite a bit, a friend of mine (D.A.) plays the Dulcimer. Pretty cool I think. I wouldn’t mind getting to hear him play sometime. I remember back in the day he used to be a big “Journey” fan. I wonder if he tries to play any. I swiped this quote from an E-Mail he sent to my sister. Oh yeah, he used to be my Brother In-law too. But sometimes those things just don’t work out.

"The dulcimer--the quiet, peaceful, personal instrument designed for playing in a lonely log cabin deep in some dark holler--became lost in the modern transition to city life. The fiddle, banjo and guitar--all capable of being public instruments--began to take the lead as the folk instruments of America.

"The rediscovery of the dulcimer in our day is filled with serendipity. It is more flexible, and capable of more complexity than had once been thought possible. It is still pleasing in its utter simplicity and in its graceful lines. It is one of the most sweetly musical, charming instruments we know. "

Lynn McSpadden

Nation Wide Recall On Pet Foods

2007-03-21T02:06:00.000-05:00

NOTICE TO ALL PET OWNERS

Nation Wide Recall On “MENU FOODS” Brand Dog and Cat Food Products.

Symptoms Include; Vomiting, Lethargy, Not Eating, Excessive Drinking, Excessive Sleeping or any Other Unusual activity.

Causes Kidney Failure and may cause Death.

Mostly Wet (canned) and Gravy Mix Type Pet Foods.

So Far On Products Manufactured From December 2006 thru March 2007 - If You're Not Sure Please Call the Toll-Free Recall Information Number, 1-866-895-2708

Recalled Dog Products:

(The Following Lists Are Not Links)

1. Americas Choice, Preferred Pets
2. Authority
3. Award
4. Best Choice
5. Big Bet
6. Big Red
7. Bloom
8. Wegmans Bruiser
9. Cadillac
10. Companion
11. Demoulas Market Basket
12. Eukanuba
13. Food Lion
14. Giant Companion
15. Great Choice
16. Hannaford
17. Hill Country Fare
18. Hy-Vee
19. Iams
20. Laura Lynn
21. Loving Meals
22. Meijers Main Choice
23. Mighty Dog Pouch
24. Mixables
25. Nutriplan
26. Nutro Max
27. Nutro Natural Choice
28. Nutro Ultra
29. Nutro
30. Ol'Roy Canada
31. Ol'Roy US
32. Paws
33. Pet Essentials
34. Pet Pride - Good n Meaty
35. Presidents Choice
36. Price Chopper
37. Priority Canada
38. Priority US
39. Publix
40. Roche Brothers
41. Save-A-Lot
42. Schnucks
43. Shep Dog
44. Springsfield Prize
45. Sprout
46. Stater Brothers
47. Stop & Shop Companion
48. Tops Companion
49. Weis Total Pet
50. Western Family US
51. White Rose
52. Winn Dixie
53. Your Pet

Recalled Cat Products:

1. Americas Choice, Preferred Pets
2. Authority
3. Best Choice
4. Companion
5. Compliments
6. Demoulas Market Basket
7. Eukanuba
8. Fine Feline Cat
9. Food Lion
10. Foodtown
11. Giant Companion
12. Hannaford
13. Hill Country Fare
14. Hy-Vee
15. Iams
16. Laura Lynn
17. Li'l Red
18. Loving Meals
19. Meijer's Main Choice
20. Nutriplan
21. Nutro Max Gourmet Classics
22. Nutro Natural Choice
23. Paws
24. Pet Pride
25. Presidents Choice
26. Price Chopper
27. Priority US
28. Save-A-Lot
29. Schnucks
30. Science Diet Feline Savory Cuts Cans
31. Sophistacat
32. Special Kitty Canada
33. Special Kitty USA
34. Springfield Prize
35. Sprout
36. Stop & Shop Companion
37. Tops Companion
38. Wegmans
39. Weis Total Pet
40. Western Family US
41. White Rose
42. Winn Dixie

(This May Not Be A Complete List)

Oklahoma Tough...

2007-03-18T01:27:00.000-05:00

THREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT ON THE LONESOME PRAIRIE, EACH WITH THE BRAVADO FOR WHICH HE IS FAMOUS, A NIGHT OF TALL TALES.

THE FIRST COWBOY FROM MONTANA SAYS, "I MUST BE THE STRONGEST, MEANEST, TOUGHEST COWBOY THERE IS. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, A BIG OLE’ BULL GOT LOOSE IN THE CORRAL. IT HAD GORED SIX MEN BEFORE I WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND BY THE HORNS WITH MY BARE HANDS AND CASTRATED THAT SON OF A BUCK WITH MY TEETH."

THE SECOND COWBOY FROM COLORADO COULDN'T STAND TO BE BESTED. "THAT'S NOTHIN’. I WAS WALKING DOWN THE TRAIL YESTERDAY, AND A FIFTEEN FOOT DIAMONDBACK RATTLER SLID OUT FROM UNDER A ROCK AND MADE A MOVE FOR ME. I GRABBED THAT BASTARD WITH MY BARE HANDS, BIT IT'S HEAD OFF AND SUCKED ALL OF THE POISON DOWN IN ONE GULP, AND I'M STILL UP AND KICKIN’ TODAY."

THE THIRD COWBOY WHO WAS FROM OKLAHOMA REMAINED SILENT, NEVER SAID A WORD, JUST KEPT SLOWLY STIRRING THE CAMPFIRE COALS WITH HIS PECKER.

What Is Politics ?

2007-03-07T13:27:00.000-06:00

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. "
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit."

(sent to me by my friend Suzanne)

"Three Things"

2007-03-03T10:26:00.000-06:00

Help me, Help me, I been tagged by Babs.

“Three Friggin’ Things”

3 Things That Scare Me;

Something happening to my Kid

Women

I can’t think of anything else
~~~
3 People Who Make Me Laugh

Ron White

Bobby Lee

My Kid
~~~
3 Things I Love

My Kid

My Dog

God (and Family)
~~~
3 Things I Hate (I try real hard not to)

Haters

People in cars that have the Bass turned up to Damn loud

People who hurt People (rapists, child molesters, drive by shooters)
~~~
3 Things I Don't Understand

People who hurt People (rapists, child molesters, drive by shooters)

Haters

People in general
~~~
3 Things On My Desk

Diet Mt. Dew

Computer

Colt .45 (the gun, not the beer)
~~~
3 Things I'm Doing Right Now

Listening to Velvet Revolver

Wondering why I’ve been awake all night

Shivering, I’ve had the heat off all night
~~~
3 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

Ride a horse again

See my kid marry a good man

Lose weight
~~~
3 Things I Can Do (this was the hardest three)

Cook most anything

Break a horse without it bucking

Throw a curve ball
~~~
3 Things I Can't Do (a butt-load of crap)

Walk very far or stand very long

Figure out Women

Throw a Slider
~~~
3 Things I Think You Should Listen To

God

Old People

Young People
~~~
3 Things You Should Never Listen To

Howard Stern

Bill Maher

Rush Limbaugh
~~~
3 Things I'd Like To Learn

To speak Cherokee

To play the guitar (I have 3)

The names of trees and plants
~~~
3 Favorite Foods

All Mexican and all Italian

Chicken (fried, baked, grilled, roasted

Anything someone else chooses and brings to me
~~~
3 Beverages I Drink Regularly

Diet Mt. Dew

Water (tap)

Nothing else
~~~
3 Shows I Watched As A Kid

Gunsmoke (James Arness, Ken Curtis)

Wanted Dead Or Alive (Steve McQueen)

Sea Hunt (Lloyd Bridges)
~~~
3 Bloggers I've Tagged

Buddess

Chef Wannabe

Kaliblue

Anyone else who wants to do it, feel free to knock yourself out. Have a good one.

One Year Of Blogging

2007-03-02T23:30:00.000-06:00

Well, “Chuck’s Lo Down” is one year old this month. It’s been a Hell of a year. I went a whole year without any income and I got by pretty well. Only had the water turned of once. Never missed a meal. Damn near lost the house but I squeaked by that one. Made a lot of good online friends who became just plain old friends (I mean that in the best possible way) lost a few who drifted away for one reason or the other, I wish them well and hope to get in touch with them again someday. I only screwed up and deleted the whole blog one time and that was just last month, almost made it a year. The new site will eventually get better. At least I have it all saved incase I have a brain fart and delete it again. This coming year I hope to post more regularly and I also hope to visit others more often. I have another blog that’s more on the faith side, I hope to post more on it too. Lately the way things have been going I’ve been more one-on-one with the big guy, talking straight to him and neglecting the blog a lot more. Things seem to be a whole lot better when I include him in my everyday life. I don’t mean to preach but having faith is a good thing no matter what it’s in as long as it is positive. Well that’s my sermon for the week. Peace to all and take care.

Where the Hell have I been?

2007-02-27T13:13:00.000-06:00

Been kind of preoccupied lately. Still waiting on the Feds to send me my not so huge refund. Emily has been sick with a cold and missed a couple of days of school, now I’m trying to get sick, my throat is getting scratchy. My brother has been moving and trying to get a new job and I’ve helped him some with getting his resume and application taken care of online, he already had the job he just had to get the paperwork taken care of for the HR dept. My sister is sick with a cold too and she has a friend who has become estranged from her man and is having a rough go of it and staying with her for a while. And to top it off my older brother who has been in rehab after a heart attack has just had another heart attack and has been shipped back to Tulsa to a fourth hospital. I’ve lost track of how long he has been in the hospital now, I guess it’s been more than two months. Worrying about him is getting real old and I’m sure he’s tired of it as well, he’s not one to do well away from home and out of his element. And a woman that tore my heart out through my butt-hole a few years back called me out of the blue last week and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to look out and see her standing on my porch any day now. I’m kind of torn on how I feel about that. Being friends would be fine but I kind of have a way of thinking with, “Little Chucky” when I’m around her and that leads to having feelings and that could open up an ugly can of worms. I don’t have enough heart left to go through that again. I’d rather spend what energy I can muster on fixing me and my life, and I don’t mean that in a selfish way. I’m no good to myself or anyone else until I’m firing on all cylinders. Well that’s enough of the clichés for now. I think I’m gonna look for a cell phone package today, everyone else has them I might as well give in and get connected too. Take care and have a good one.

I'm Back...

2007-02-20T09:48:00.000-06:00

Due to technical difficulties outside of my control, my old Template disappeared. But now I'm back. Babs sent me this cool Template to replace my old one. It may take me a while to get back up on my feet but I should be posting on a some what regular basis soon. Getting my sidebar back the way I want it with all of the links to my favorite Blogs and Websites may prove to be a challenge, maybe I should have saved a few more things but that's kind of what I thought I was doing by putting them on my Blog to begin with. But I guess that's all hind site now. Bare with me and I ought back to be posting my normally mind numbing dribble ASAP. Peace and good day to all.

2007-02-17T03:44:00.000-06:00

where's my blog

2007-02-17T02:45:00.000-06:00

Aliens Are Coming…

Yes it’s true, Aliens are coming to abduct all of the Beautiful, Smart, and Sexy people. But don’t worry, you all will be safe. I’m just posting this to say goodbye.

2007-02-13T15:05:00.000-06:00

This Is A Test

I post the cutest picture of a puppy that you’ve ever seen and a link to the Humane Society and in four days I only get one comment from my most loyal friend. So now I’m posting a risqué picture of animated porn and a link to a cartoon porn site (click here) and lets see how many comments I get now, so don’t be shy.

2007-02-09T10:20:00.000-06:00

Need a Pet ?

Maybe you do and just don’t know it yet. I had no idea until fate laid one in my hands and now I don’t know how I ever lived without one (or two) My dog is truly my best friend. Other than family and a couple of friends, he is the only relationship I’ll have until death. God help the person that would try to hurt or take away my dog. He loves me no matter what, richer, poorer, mad or happy he’s right there with me. I wish I could meet a woman as loyal. If you live in Oklahoma around the Tulsa area and are interested in adopting a pet (even a cat) The Humane Society of Tulsa is the place to go. They have a program that brings people and pets together. You can go to their website at: www.tulsapets.com or call them at (918) 250-DOGS. For a small fee you can adopt a pet already spayed or neutered and up to date on all shots. Go to their website and click on “pets” and you can look at photos of some of the pets they have to offer. I’m not even in the market for a new pet and I like to look through them. No matter where you live you can go through the local Humane Society or ASPCA and adopt a pet, you don’t need to have papers or spend a thousand dollars or more to have a good friend. You can also go to: www.petfinder.com You can see my pets down on my sidebar.

2007-02-06T21:41:00.000-06:00

An elderly man in North-East Oklahoma had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice, picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond while you’re still naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast, and besides… there have been very few alligators in Oklahoma.

2007-01-29T05:25:00.000-06:00

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NOTICE: D0 Not Click On The Link Above (unless you really want to)
This is not an endorsement or an advertisement. I received this in an E-Mail, I’m not sure whether it was SPAM or if someone is trying to tell me something.

(I especially like # 4, # 6, and # 7)

2007-01-26T01:01:00.000-06:00

If you are the Unlucky Bugger that took this photo...

Then the S**t is definitely about to hit the fan!

2007-01-24T14:45:00.000-06:00

We had our first ice storm of ‘07

Our power was out for 5 days. Over 73 thousand homes and businesses in Oklahoma were without power. 26 people died in related incidents. Emily was out of school for 6 days and just went back today. Millions of dollars of damage was done due to frozen limbs and power lines breaking and roofs caving in from the weight of the ice. Over 5 thousand people are still without power. The Red Cross Disaster relief truck pulled up in front of my house at one time, I didn’t make a noise and just hoped they would go away. I didn’t need anything. Emily and I just broke out the camping gear. Coleman lanterns, oil lamps and lights. We were low on kerosene but we got by just fine. We had about two weeks worth of food or more. We had filled everything we could with water but we never needed it. We had gas and the one gas heater in the living room did just fine. It was kind of boring and we played cards and Emily read her drivers manual by candle light. It never got colder than 17 degrees below freezing so that was really no problem. We have a lot of tree damage and so does everyone else in our neighborhood, I’m tired of the sound of chain saws, I'm listening to them right now. The top picture is of my driveway when the sleet and freezing rain stopped for a while, the bottom one is of my front yard the next day. Emily had moved her truck out of the way when it started thanks to a neighbor who gave us a warning, that’s probably the first time one of my neighbors actually came in handy. My bother was and still is in the hospital, he spoke today for the first time in 5 weeks. Last week his heart was working at 17 % and his kidneys were functioning at 3 %. His kidneys are still shot but his heart is picking up some and he’s breathing on his own. This is a huge improvement form 2 weeks ago when they were talking about turning everything off and just letting him pass away. God Bless him and bring him home soon. I have hundreds of e-mails to deal with, too bad Spam doesn’t get frozen out. Peace and Health to all.

2007-01-07T02:26:00.000-06:00

Playa Cofi Jukebox

My friend Arizona Country Girl (AZCG) sent this LINK to me in an E-Mail and I thought it was kind of Cool. I graduated in 1982 so that’s the year I picked to play, back when MTV was more about the music and not a bunch of Clueless Wannabes. I heard songs that I hadn’t thought about in years. Give it a shot if you’re bored. Thanks AZCG.

2007-01-04T01:46:00.000-06:00

Oklahoma turns 100 this year.

My Brother Larry will turn 53 God willing. He’s just had his second heart attack in three weeks. He’s been in the hospital for all of the last three weeks here in Muskogee and they just transferred him to St. Johns in Tulsa yesterday. He went in with chest pains and shortness of breath. Come to find out he had his 3rd or 4th heart attack, they’re not sure which and he also had pneumonia. They’ve taken about 60 lbs of fluid off of him and he’s been kept under on Morphine the entire 3 weeks. The pneumonia has cleared up but his blood gases are not what they should be. He’s on about 40 % oxygen by way of a temporary tracheotomy and they’re trying to start him on a feeding tube. Every time something good happens something bad soon follows. That’s just the way it is in our lives. I told a friend in an e-mail that if he doesn’t pull through that I don’t believe I’ll handle it very well. I’ve lost too many people in my life and I was kind of hoping with my health that I would be the next one to go.
Prayer and faith has gotten me through a lot in my life and I’m praying like crazy these days. I started wearing a cross around my neck to remind myself of the love of Christ and my love for him and I pray that he will let us have some more time with my Brother. My apologies for not coming around more often lately, my head’s not where it should be. Peace and health to all.

2006-12-25T09:50:00.000-06:00

You’ve all been Elfed…

Life is all about the Ass

You're either covering it,
Laughing it off,
Kicking it,
Kissing it,
Busting it,
Showing it,
Trying to get a piece of it,
Or just behaving like one ...

Merry CHRISTmas Everyone

Chuck & Emily

2006-12-23T22:44:00.000-06:00

This is Emily’s Birthday/Christmas Present.

It’s a little grungy because it’s rained for two days (and we needed it) We picked it up Wednesday in Ft. Gibson. It’s an ‘89 model Chevrolet Silverado. It’s loaded and has a new motor, transmission , tires, and a Kenwood CD player. We got it from a friend of my sister so we know the history on it. We put a new Steering Wheel in it and bought a tool box for the bed that we will put in tomorrow, we also have a new set of Rockford Fosgate speakers to install. Emily wants to do a few more things to it before she has it the way she wants. All she needs now is to get her licenses. A few more driving lessons and she will be ready to take her test. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.

2006-12-23T03:04:00.000-06:00

Five things you may not know about Chuck. A Tag from The Babs Bitchin’

1. I’m a Born Again Virgin.

2. I was born with only one left nut.

3. All of my toes look like they came from different feet, I named the big one on my left foot “Frankentoe”. I tore the nail off of my right big toe last year and it grew back looking like a Barbeque Corn Chip.

4. I am the real reason why your Mother told you to be careful as a kid or you could put someone’s eye out. On July, 7th 1973, in Upland California I threw a homemade spear into the left eye of my 5 year old brother (I had made the spear to hunt cats). My Mother beat my ass before they took him to the hospital, when they brought him home from the hospital with a HUGE patch over his eye, she beat my ass again, then when my Father got home from work that night he beat my ass until I smelled bad. Three weeks later when he got the bandages off and had to wear some F**ked up big ass glasses with one coke bottle lens my Mother and Father beat my ass tag team style, taking turns until they tired out. Then 12 years later when the same little brother kicked me in the left eye and knocked me smooth out and my eye swelled completely shut my Mother and Father laughed and told me it served me right.

5. I got kicked out of school in the 12th grade for beating up a deaf kid with glasses named Shannon, first off he was a deaf kid with glasses and secondly his name was Shannon, he deserved to get beat up. Actually the little shit hit me first and called me a “ath-hole” so I clocked him. I’ve become much more sensitive as an adult.

(I got my ass beat a Hell of a lot as a child and I can honestly say that I was never abused and I probably didn't get it near as much as I should have. If I had ever threatend to call the Cops or Child Welfare, my Mom and Dad would have dialed "9*1" and handed me the phone and beat my ass anyway while I tried to dial the last "1")

2006-12-20T11:20:00.000-06:00

“The worst an honest man can do is make an honest mistake.” -- Captain Augustus McCray, Texas Rangers, cir. 1870 {Lonesome Dove}

2006-12-17T17:27:00.000-06:00

Well I lied about not whining anymore…

In fact I may change the name of my Blog to “Chuck’s Bitch Post” and turn off the comment section. I’ve got a lot of tickets in my day, most of them for f**ked up reasons or for doing something stupid, but I never got one while taking a nap in my own bedroom before. I did not go to bed until about 5:00 AM this morning so at Noon I was still in bed when I heard a knocking and someone yelling, “ Police Department.” I got up and went to the front door which was OPEN and there is a what I think is a Policeman standing there and he’s a big Son of a Bitch. In a not so friendly voice he asked me if these were my dogs running around outside , I said yes but I don’t know how they got out, they’re house dogs and I’ve been asleep, I have no idea how they got out or why my door is open, he said neither do I but you need to get them put up before I right you a citation. I said “ok, give me just a minute.” I called my sister and told her to come over quick that I had a situation. Another dog catcher pulls up and he jumps out and they start chasing my dogs, which are barking and running up and down the street and not paying any attention to anything I say. Then I notice that the first Policeman is a dog catcher also, he yells at me to come get my dogs, he’s a little mad now because he looks like an idiot and can’t catch the dogs, he yells at me again, I’m standing in my doorway in my underwear and so I yell back at him “I can’t, I’m in a F**king wheelchair, I’ve called my sister and she is on her way over here right now to help.” He’s getting hotter by the minute and I’m none too happy myself. He then yells at me to give him my Drivers License so I go and get it, by this time I have stood all I can, he asked me to come outside and I told him to come inside, he did and took my license and went back out to his truck, I slammed the door and said , “F**K!!” that’s all I need, something to cost me more money, my sister finally arrived and brought the dogs in, she talked to the Dog Napper and he still didn’t sound too happy and I’m way pissed. He again asked me to come outside and I told him once again to come inside. He gave me two tickets to sign and I told him that he was a very nice man, he said, “I’m just doing my job” and I told him that his job sucked and he didn’t have to give me a ticket that he just wanted too because he was mad, he told me to have a nice day in that tone that means kiss my ass so I told him to do the same in an even shittier voice. Two tickets for $244.00 each, Merry F**king Christmas to me, and F**K my F**KING worthless ******* neighbors because they were the ones outside pointing at my house and yelling at the Dog Catchers, The same F**king ******** that Honk their car horns 10 to 20 times a day all hours of the day and night and they drive like a Bat out of Hell up and down our street like it was a racetrack and they have that F**KING loud assed wannabe Bass turned up all the way music so that it vibrates all of the windows in my house, not to mention that they are always - ALWAYS out in the streets at 1 and 2 o’clock in the morning yelling and screaming like a bunch of Fucking Hillbillies who came into town for the first time. And if someone doesn’t like the way I call them ******** they can just take a flying suck at my corn hole with their tongues out, because I don’t give a shit if they’re Black, White, Red, Green, or Yellow, they’re still ASSHOLES!!! I’m pissed and don’t care much for people right now and I’m fighting off the urge to retaliate against the whole neighborhood for all of the crap I put up with from them but they sure are quick to call the Cops on me. F**k em’, F**k em’ all. I must have been a real Dick in a previous life.

P.P. [Post Post]
(I hate it whenever I use the word "F**k", especially when I spell it out. My Father always told me that someone who uses it has a limited vocabulary, he was right, I mostly only use it when I'm mad and when I'm mad I'm stupid. Forgive me please.)

2006-12-17T03:45:00.000-06:00

A Letter From S. Claus

Dear Boys and Girls,

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since most of you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your trees at Christmas time.

I was going to bring you all gifts for each of the 12 days of Christmas, but we’ve had a little problem this year.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with the Clap from fiddling around with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords a-leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing some awfully weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming.

The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and that friggin’ partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.

On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through the menopause, 6 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have ran off and joined the gay rights liberation, and some people who can't Habla a Damn calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January!

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things that you wanted. This year I suggest you get your sorry little asses down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone.

Love,
Santa

2006-12-15T08:10:00.000-06:00

This is the last time I whine about anything.

Every since Tuesday when I found out that Social Security had approved my claim, I’ve felt like crap. My stomach is uneasy and my chest hurts, I can’t tell if it’s my heart or lungs. It just feels kind of tight and every now and then I have to take an extra breath to catch up. I’ve felt like crap most of my adult life so I don’t get too excited over pain. I think maybe I'm worried about not having anything to worry about. Wednesday they canceled my Social Security appointment and they had to take my brother to the emergency room. He’s in ICU, at first they said it was pneumonia but now they say he has had a full blown heart attack. He’s 52 and this is his 3rd or 4th one. He already has a defibulater (sp?) in his chest and he goes to dialysis 3 times a week, not to mention the Diabetes. He still gets around better than I do most of then time and helps me out when he can. I try and make myself not think about him so much, growing up he was my Hero, and still is in a lot of ways, I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to him, I think I wouldn’t be too far behind him.
Social Security called me again yesterday and said that they could do my claim over the phone, so it only took us about 20 or 30 minutes and we were pretty much finished. She said it would take 24 hours to process and she’d call me back today with the final figures, so I’d better stay off of the computer I guess. I started my claim December 15th 2005, one year ago today. I didn’t complete my paperwork and get all of my information turned into until March 2006. So they say they’ll pay my claim back to April 2006. So that’s 8 months by their figures instead of 12 by mine. And they are going to pay my back pay at S.S.I. Rates (Welfare) that’s less than half of what regular S.S. Disability is. And having a child does not make any difference. And any money I used to get by on the last year depending on where it came from and if I have to pay it back or not will count against me. So I am probably going to get less than a quarter of what I was expecting and if I’m lucky it will be just enough to catch up my house payments, so all the money that I am in dept will remain to be a dept and with the amount I will be receiving monthly I will probably remain in dept a long f**king time. It sucks to be me, but hey… I could be a conjoined twin that shares a butt hole with a gay brother, so things could be worse. Peace and health to you all.

2006-12-14T05:53:00.000-06:00

I said whenever I got my money the first thing I was gonna do was celebrate by going out and eating BBQ.
Well I didn’t get my money yet but we went out last night and pigged out anyway. I set aside my diet for the evening (Hell I’ve set it aside a lot of evenings) Emily, my sister Mytra, my youngest brother James and his girlfriend Lari all went to Runts BBQ, we had ribs, sliced beef, hot links, potato salad, fried okra, and iced tea. It felt good to pick up the ticket for a change. Afterwards we went to Wal-Mart to do some shopping and get some dog food. How White Trash is that, our big night out and we go to Wal-Mart. Well at least it was a Super Wal-Mart. Once again it was nice to spend a few buck without having to think about it. I hope S.S.I. hurries up and reschedules my appointment to sign the papers, I can still hardly sleep, even with an incredibly full stomach. We had to buy Maalox at the store. Peace.

2006-12-13T14:34:00.000-06:00

Wednesday December 13th, 2006 @ 8:20 AM. Social Security called me at home and asked me if I was me, and I said, “yeah…”, she (Erica) said, “Mr. Shoemake do you have an appointment today at 1:30 with Social Security?” (Pause…) I said, “yeah…”, she (Erica from Hell) said, “your case worker is out sick today so we’re going to have to cancel your appointment.” I said, “you’re kidding me”, she (Erica The Ball Breaker) said, “no, when she comes back in to work she’ll call you and reschedule your appointment for NEXT week.” (Pause…) I said, “GRRE-ATE!” She (Erica The Bureaucratic No Frigging Soul Having Bee-yotch) said, “thank you and have a nice day” (Click)

On another fine note my sister called me at 7:00 AM and said that they had to take my older brother to the Emergency Room this morning with chest pains and extreme shortness of breath, and that his Nitro tablets were not helping. And when I got on the computer I found out that Peter Boyle, who played Frank Barone, the father on “Everybody Loves Raymond” died Tuesday in N.Y. He died Tuesday evening at the New York Presbyterian Hospital. He had been suffering from multiple myeloma and heart disease. He was also in movies like, "Young Frankenstein" and "The Dream Team". He was 71 years old. That man could really make me laugh.

Some days things just really suck.

2006-12-12T08:45:00.000-06:00

Tuesday December 12th, 2006 @ 8:05 AM. Social Security called me at home and asked me if I was me, and I said, “yeah…”, she (Sandy) said, “Mr. Shoemake I am with Social Security and I have an allowance here on your claim so you WILL be receiving S.S.I., can you come into the office tomorrow at 1:30 PM ? (Pause…) “HELL YES I CAN!”

Cool huh? I’ll fill you in more later.

2006-12-09T17:34:00.000-06:00

The True difference between a Man and a Woman in the form of poetry.

~ WOMAN'S POEM ~

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

~ MAN'S POEM ~

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs and who owns a liquor store and a bass boat. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

2006-12-07T04:29:00.000-06:00

I Have Few Friends.

And yet I have no complaints, no worries. The friends I do have are top shelf. I guess as you get older the buddies kind of weed themselves out. You don’t have time for them or they don’t have the time for you. This is a good thing, kind of a natural culling of the herd. The real friends stay with you over the years. You don’t have to see them or even hear from them all the time. You know who they are and there is a comfort in just knowing they are there. I hope my friends all know who they are and know that I love them like family. You don’t get to pick your family, it’s kind of a crap shoot, either you’re lucky or you’re not. God has blessed me on both accounts. I wish that all of my friends could read this and know that I do love them. If I never get the chance to come out and say it just know that I do. It’s a given. And if I ever change my mind I’ll let you know. One of my brothers… I mean one of my friends has a blog. Chef Wannabe He has a bigger heart than most people know, and whether he admits it or not it’s a lot bigger than mine. If he thinks half as much of me as I do of him, then I’m truly a blessed man. He loves his God, his Family and his Friends. Some day soon we’ll share a meal together, hopefully it will be a meal we prepare ourselves outdoors on a grill. It’s been too long since we’ve broken bread together. I would like for him and his family to meet the rest of my friends and family. We just might have to get together at the lake or something this summer. I think that’s a fine idea, I’ll have to see that it happens. Peace to all and take care.

(thanks Chief, for everything)

2006-12-07T00:52:00.000-06:00

Do you know your U.S. Geography?

Can you match all 48 lower States? Go here and see how much you know. http://www.pibmug.com/files/map_test.swf
The first time I tried it I got 28, the third time I got 39, and the fifth time I got all 48. Just click and drag, it’s easy. It helped me to do the ones I didn’t know first. Let me know how you did. Peace and good luck.

2006-12-05T02:25:00.000-06:00

I had to go to Tulsa today for a bone scan of my left hip to try and determine the reason why I have considerable weakness in my left leg and have trouble baring weight on it, also to try and figure out why I have an elevated CPK level. I had to be at the Hospital 30 minutes early to check in, and because it was 23 degrees outside and Tulsa had just received nine and a half inches of snow, we had to leave a little early, about 8:00 AM. We found the Hospital with little effort, I hadn’t been there in years and there are like nine Hospitals in the Tulsa area so we had to drive around a minute or two before we found it. We had no problems getting in and finding out where to go, everything was going pretty smoothly and we didn’t have to wait long, I keep saying we because my sister Mytra drove me and Emily up there, Emily goes with me to most of my appointments because she helps wheel me around. Anyway all was fine and well, they only had to poke me five times before they could find a vein and then they had me stand up and push my pelvis up against this odd looking machine, I felt like I was molesting a television. Being that my problem is baring weight, standing and thrusting my pelvis forward was a huge pain in the butt, I could hardly stand up as long as they needed me to, then they shot the dye into me and told me to come back in three hours and do it all again. Sweet, no one had bothered to tell me we had to wait and kill time in Tulsa for three hours, a little info would have been helpful. So we went to the Bass Pro Shop in Broken Arrow and looked around for a while, then we got lost for about an hour in downtown Tulsa and finally made it back to the hospital in time to take a second go around at the bone scan thingy whopper. Never did hear anything about the elevated CPK problem and at 2:00 PM they said I could go, we stopped on the way home and had Chinese Food at a local buffet and I way - way over ate, we got home about 5:00 PM and by 6:00 PM I was in full “Nap Mode.” Em’s mom called at 8:00 PM and woke us up, Em started getting a headache that turned into a Migraine, which always makes her nauseated and by 10:00 PM she was revisiting her Chinese food, she said it was not as good the second time around. Finally by around 11:00 PM she was feeling well enough to go to sleep and we called it a day, she went to sleep and I got on the computer. So that was our day, I’m kind of tired and I’ve not really done anything other than sit in a car, sit in a hospital, and sit in a restaurant. I think I’ll give the dogs a snack and hit the hay myself. Peace and good night.

2006-12-01T16:55:00.000-06:00

Two buddies, Bob and Larry, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Larry throws up all over himself. "Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!"

Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Larry stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a badtime. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Larry says, "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. tsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got sick on me... he had one too many! And he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks.."

"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhhhit in my pants, too."

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy".

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy".

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers: "Come on, Dick, we're leaving.

(thanks JT and SRG for keeping me smiling with your e-mails)

2006-11-30T08:45:00.000-06:00

Winter is Finally Here.

Do you know what one snowman said to the other? - “Do you smell carrots?”

Yesterday at Noon it was 72 degrees and partly sunny. By 4:00 PM it was below 50 and cloudy. Today there is no school and there probably won’t be any tomorrow, It’s 8:45 AM and it’s 30 degrees and sleeting. It’s supposed to get down around 22 today with an 80 to 100 % chance of the sleet and freezing rain turning into snow with an accumulation of anywhere from 2 to 9 inches by Friday. It’s not supposed to get above freezing again until Monday. It’s a tad nipply. Oklahoma weather sucks, it’s never really too cold or too hot but you can use the heater and the air conditioner all in the same day. The News Guy said there will probably be some power outages due to freezing and breaking limbs bringing down power lines. No worries, I have gas heat, a corded phone, two way radios (and so does my sister) enough food and water for a week or so, I wish I had a little more stock-piled but it’s been a hard year. I have propane lanterns and plenty of oil lamps, I wish I had more oil but I have enough for whatever Oklahoma can throw my way. I’m probably planning ahead for nothing because the News Guys hardly ever gets it right anyway. We’ll most likely get a inch and a half of snow and it will melt off by Saturday. Emily has already gone back to bed, she got up at 5:00 AM, showered and watched the news until they finally called school off at 6:10 AM, just the time she usually walks out the door to catch the bus, 5 more minutes and she’d been out the door. Anyway I think a nap sounds pretty good right about now, I've been up all night... again. Peace to all and good day.

(sorry for the lame snowman joke)

2006-11-28T12:12:00.000-06:00

It’s November the 28th...

Exactly one year since I last worked. I had a training class on safety in the work place that day, and when I returned to the office after the class, I fell in the parking lot. I finished out the rest of the day which consisted of driving 120 miles to pick up a client and taking them to an appointment. I was in terrible pain and could hardly drive. When the day was over and I got to my home I didn’t think I could make it up the steps and into my house but I did, one step at a time and pulling my left leg up behind me as I went. I decided that day that there would be no more work, I had dragged it out as long as I could. It was a hard decision for me, I believe that I cried while I made it, I did not want to call work and say, “I quit” I was not raised that way, a man works and that’s all there is to it, but my body had had enough and even though it was not a strenuous job most of the time I was tired of working in pain. My employers were great to me, they did not want me to quit and they kept me on the payroll another month and paid me for my last vacation that I had coming. If I ever get well enough to work on my feet again they would hire me back with no problems, I had been with them 14 year, out of 1100 employees I was about the 10th one they hired. I had been with them since about 6 months after they opened and before they had any clients to provide services for, so I guess you could say that I grew with them, I miss the people I worked with most of all. Anyway, one year and I’m still here, I had a good Thanksgiving and I’m looking forward to a good Christmas, my Christmas’ are always good whether I get anything or not, my family is always happy and Emily always does real well. As long as I am warm, my family is healthy and happy, we have good food and all of the kids are smiling and happy, it’s a good Christmas. You can always bet on one thing though, the Shoemakes are going to have some good ass food come Hell or high water, it‘s a fact. Peace to all.

2006-11-25T03:02:00.000-06:00

My friend Kim McD E-Mailed this to me but I thought I'd just post it here. If you want you could do it too.

1. What is your occupation? - Disabled, I was a Program Supervisor for a Supportive Living Agency.

2. What color are your socks right now? - Not wearing any.

3. What are you listening to right now? - The hum of my hard drive, everything else is silent at the moment.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? - Peanut M&M.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? - Proficiently.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? - Red, it's an Indian thing.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? - Mytra, my sister.

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? - Yeah… I guess so.

9. How old are you today? - 42 years, 71 and ½ days.

10. Favorite drink? - Diet MT. Dew.

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? - Porn.

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? - Not Yet...

13. What are you more scared of, Snakes or Spiders? - Spiders, I actually like Snakes.

14. Pets? - Dogs - Dutchy and Tig.

15. Favorite food? - Porter House Steak and a Baked Potato, hold the sour cream.

16. What was the last movie you watched? - “On Golden Pond”

17. Favorite day of the year? - Tomorrow.

18. What do you do to vent anger? - I yell a lot and make an Ass out of myself, it ain’t pretty.

19. What was your favorite toy as a child? - A Baseball & Glove.

20. What is your favorite season? - Fall.

21. Hugs or kisses? - Both together.

22. Cherries or Blueberry? - Cherries.

23. Do you want your friends to email you back? - Sure.

24. Who is most likely to respond? - You.

25. Who is least likely to respond? - Whatalotoffun (she hasn’t left a comment in a while)

26. Living arrangements? - Shitty.

27. When was the last time you cried? - A while back.

28. What is on the floor of your closet? - Empty boxes.

29. Who is the friend you have known the longest that you are sending this to? - Babs… sorta, she was my first blogging buddy.

30. What did you do last night? - Went to my sister’s for dinner.

31. Favorite smells? - A woman, vanilla, rain, wild mint.

32. What inspires you? - Glorious behavior in a person.

33. What are you afraid of? - Being poor.

34. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? - Bacon Cheeseburger w/Jalepenos, Onions and Mustard.

35. (there was no #35 so I’m making one up) Pro Life or Pro Choice? - Pro Choice but I’m dead set against abortion.

36. Favorite dog breed? - Blue Heeler but I own the best Rat Terrier there has ever been. His name is Tig and he's on my sidebar.

37. Number of keys on your key ring? - Truck ign. Truck door, Truck toolbox, house, gun cabinet, gun lock, handcuffs… that’s 7.

38. How many years at your current job? - Last job, 14 years, unemployed 1 year now.

39. Favorite day of the week? - Friday.

40. How many states have you lived in? - 2.

41. Favorite Holiday? - Opening day of Deer Season, Gun.

42. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? - Many. I’ve owned about 12 Motorcycles. I’ve also driven a few fork lifts on the job.

43. Who is your favorite NFL team? - Steelers… who else?

44. Do you have a house phone that is NOT cordless? - Yes, for when the power is out, I learned that lesson the hard way.

45. Prefer 10 inches of snow or 100 degree weather? - 10 inches of snow, I hate hot weather.

2006-11-22T06:02:00.000-06:00

First off, I just updated from IE 6 to IE 7.

So now I have to learn how to use it all over again, whatever happened to, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Second, I had some good/bad/I’m not sure, news today (today being Tuesday, Nov 21, I've not been to bed yet so it is still Tuesday to me). It all started with being on the phone trying to find out something about my disability claim yesterday for about four hours (sometimes I want to just give the f**k up) after being on hold forever to the national 1-800 number, just to find out that their computers were down and I’d have to call back. Sweet huh? So today after only an hour and finding out there was something wrong with my phone line and not being able to call any toll free numbers and guess what, the AT&T phone repair number is a 1-800 number. So I had to call my sister at work and have her call the phone company and have them call me back. Well to make a long f**ked up story a bit shorter, after two hours and six phone calls and changing to three different phones and being told that my less than a year old $169.00 phone is not worth a s**t which I refused to believe and besides along with my phone problems that means slower than ass internet hook-up. Anyway, strangely after talking to the phone cops, my phone and internet connection is working better, imagine that. So I give the disability folks a ring once again and find out some news, good or bad, I still don’t know. It seems that Social Security has made a decision about my claim on November the 13th, cool! Some progress finally, but the dear lady on the phone could not tell me the outcome, she said that I would have to contact the local office here in Muskogee (I know, hick town USA) so she gave the number which I already have. So I called it… and called it… and called it. Always busy, for two more hours busy, I started calling a little before 10:00 am and now it’s 1:45 pm, I’m so sick of holding the phone that my arm is getting weak. Anyway, once again to shorten it up a bit, about 2:00 pm I finally got a person on the line, a rather nice lady that eventually got around to telling me that a decision had been made BUT… my case was randomly selected for a review and was sent to Dallas Texas for said review. I asked her what the decision was and she informed me that she could not tell me because pending the review it could be overturned one way or the other and she did not want me to get my hopes up or down. I said, “you’ve got to be kidding me” she paused and in a way that let me know without just coming out and saying so that normally (she emphasized the word “normally”) that cases selected for a random review were because of an allowance, I said, “what do you mean allowance?” she said, approved. So I then I asked about how long did a review take and she said, “not very long and that they would send the results back to the local office and they would inform me one way or the other by mail.” I thanked her kindly and hung up at 2:21 pm. Almost four and a half hours with a phone to my ear, at one point I tried to plug my headset for my computer into the phone but it wouldn’t fit, too big. Did I mention that all the time I’ve been on the phone the last two days that my chest hurt and I had the chills and felt like I was going to throw up. I just knew I was gonna get bad news. But I’m taking this as good news because at least I was A-FRIGGIN-PPROVED! I could still be denied now but I’m trying to think positive. Back pay for a year will be pretty sweet. More waiting though. Wish me luck. Peace to all.

2006-11-20T13:32:00.000-06:00

Operation Christmas Child

The true meaning of Christmas - The Gift Of Christ’s Love

Operation Christmas Child is a project where people are asked to put together a shoebox to be sent to needy children around the world. Simple items are placed in the boxes including hygiene items, school supplies, small toys, gum or hard candy, and clothing items. Please go to, “Samaritan’s Purse” @ http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
Operation Christmas Child sends a message of hope to children in desperate situations around the world through gift-filled shoe boxes and Christian literature. This program provides an opportunity for individuals of all ages to be involved in a simple, hands-on missions project that reaches out to suffering children while focusing on the true meaning of Christmas - Jesus Christ, God's greatest gift. In past years, Samaritan's Purse has collected over 6 million shoe boxes worldwide and distributed them to children in over 90 countries. National collection week was November 13th to the 20th. But you can still help, just click on the link above.
Some of these children have never had a gift, some have never had anything. When they receive something like this they are so happy that they want to share what they get with others. Children that have never had anything have not had the opportunity to share, this is something new to them, it’s not something they were taught like most of us, it is just naturally in their hearts. To have nothing but feeling compelled to share what little you get with others is the true meaning of Christmas. The true joy of giving. Merry Christmas.

2006-11-17T14:04:00.000-06:00

MEME From An Old F**ker

I got this from Xmichra (again) she said that she got it from “old bitter balls” and that the title amused her so she had to do it. So I gave it a shot too. If you read this, consider yourself tagged. So no backtalk now, just get it done!

1. - Do you like the look and the contents of your blog? ~ Yes, the template suits me, I like things neat and orderly. As for the contents of my rambles, if I don’t like it I don’t post it, I leave a lot of things on the cutting room floor.

2. - Does your family know about your blog? ~ My sister and my daughter do, I have three brothers that don’t, I’m not really keeping it from them it’s just something that’s not up their alley. I’d get a kick out of it if they did read it though.

3. - Can you tell your friends about your blog? Do you consider it a private thing? ~ I’ve told all of my friends about it, I e-mail them every now and then and remind them but most could care less, they are too busy with their own lives. I don’t have anything to hide, I’m an open book most of the time. I consider most of my blogging friends real friends anyway, sometimes they pay more attention to me than my face to face friends.

4. - Do you just read the blogs of those who comment on your blog? Or do you try to discover new blogs? ~ Most days yes, but I make my self go down my blogroll about once a week and visit everyone, I don’t always leave comments though, sometimes my opinions sound kind of harsh so I delete them and go on down the line, I try not to flame anyone on their own blog, but sometimes I can’t help myself, honesty gets the better of me. If I like a comment or a picture that someone leaves on a post of someone’s I will go and check out their site then if they come by mine it kind of gets something going, I’m sure everyone know how that is.

5. - Did your blog positively affect your mind? Give an example. ~ Well much like Xmichra I haven’t killed or maimed anyone since I started blogging, I guess that’s a positive thing, I don’t get mad as much as I used to but that could also be the medication, I like the honesty of writing.

6. - What does the number of visitors to your blog mean? Do you use a traffic counter? ~ Again like Xmichra I’m a traffic whore just like I’m a comment whore also, it gives a little validation to writing when you know people are reading it, I have three traffic counters and I check them all of the time, I love the thought that people on the other side of the world take the time to read my thoughts.

7. - Did you imagine how other bloggers look like? ~ Yes. That’s why I ask for pictures of everyone, I know what most of my friends look like, but I don’t care if they know what I look like, I’m not as pretty as I once was, I tell people I’m kind of a cross between John Candy, Steven Segal, Michael Madsen, and Chewbacca. (In reality more like Meatloaf)

8. - Do you think blogging has any real benefit? ~ See # 5

9. - Do you think that the blogosphere is a stand alone community separated from the real world? ~ No, I think that it brings the world a little closer together, especially when I read about other bloggers meeting one another.

10. - Do some political blogs scare you? Do you avoid them? ~ Nope, I normally don’t read them. I’m political enough and it usually causes an argument between friends, so I’ve agreed with some to not go there. ( X )

11. - Do you think that criticizing your blog is useful? ~ If you don’t like it don’t come back, I’m sure a lot of folks haven’t.

12. - Have you ever thought about what would happen to your blog in case you died?~ Yes, but I’m more worried about what my friends would think, that’s why I have a contingency plan for just that very thing, my daughter will post a farewell letter incase of my demise.

13. - Which blogger had the greatest impression on you? ~ If anyone has impressed me I added them to my sidebar. Just go down the list.

14. - Which blogger do you think is the most similar to you? ~ Oh Gawd !! I hope to Hell no one is similar to me, that would be scary.

15. - Name a song you want to listen to? ~ There is a song in a movie, it’s at the beginning of “Leaving Las Vegas” with Nicholas Cage but it is NOT the song “Leaving Las Vegas” it’s kind of a Jazz song, all I can tell you is the a man sings it and it’s not Sting. I would like to hear again and own it. (I guess I could always just rent the movie, huh?)

2006-11-15T05:50:00.000-06:00

I’m so broke, I have no cheese to go with this whine…

I’ve tried to lead a good life, if I can think before I act I always try and make the best possible choice. I never pass up a chance to help someone, I’ve given my last dollar away. If I can say something to brighten someone’s day I always do. I’m kind of a grouchy person by nature so it is not always an easy thing for me. I truly believe in God and truth. I never care about anyone having to know if I’ve done a good thing or not, as long as God and I know that’s always been enough. I believe in karma but I don’t believe in making deals, for instance - God if you do this, I’ll do that. I don’t believe it works that way. I don’t believe that if I send an E-mail within 5 minutes of reading it to 10 of my friends that a miracle will happen tomorrow at 1:00 PM (but I can’t help sending them anyway). But if I’m good and generous and gracious I think that it will come back around. It may not be a blessing that I want but usually something that I need. It works both ways though, if I’m not so good I believe that it too will come back to visit me. Sometimes I wonder what I’ve done to deserve the way things have turned out, am I forgetting something in my past? Surely the good outweighs the bad. I must be overlooking all of the times that I lost my temper and out of anger said or did something that hurt someone. For that I am sorry. One time in a movie John Wayne said, “Never apologize, it’s a sign of weakness.” well I must be weak because I’ve said I’m sorry an awful lot. I can’t think of anyone I’ve left bad blood between (I take that back, I’m sure there are a few ladies out there that would wish me no good) for that I’m sorry, and if I ever run into them I’ll tell them so. You can count on that. Back to my point, my whole life right now revolves around Social Security. I know people must be getting tired of hearing about that but it is with me every waking moment and sometimes when I’m not awake. What I would receive from S.S. would be a small drop in the bucket compared to things. It wouldn’t affect or hurt anyone at all, such a small thing but it would mean the world to me and my family. Hope is a good thing as long as you have it. All I want in life is to pay my bills and take care of my own. In case I haven’t been clear, I’m getting tired of waiting, I’m getting tired of whining, and I’m getting tired of doing without the simplest of things. I hope everyone is having a good week so far. Its raining (that's a good thing) my chest hurts (that's a bad thing). So much for Wordless Wednesday. Peace.

2006-11-15T03:37:00.000-06:00

Here’s my Wordless Wednesday … but wait, it has words, oh well, my bad !